Shot to Nothing

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Survival Guides: What to do if your Favorite Player gets Traded to a Rival Team

The Patriot *sigh* 1. Gnash teeth, hammer keyboard, impersonate chick from 'The Excorcist.' (your mother sucks cocks in hell...etc.)

2. Repeat.

3. Breathe deeply, relax and remember that this is the NFL and that this shit happens all the time.

4. Hammer head against wall, varying both aggression and angle of attack.

5. Get out that overpriced jersey from last season and admire it. Think of all the good things that that player did for your team. Remind yourself that he deserves to get paid for his efforts...

6. Throw jersey to floor and stamp several times. Ensure both player name and team logo are sufficiently targeted.

7. Check out the latest transfers to see that, not only has Joey Harrington finally been cut, but that you have also signed one of the finest damned players in the league (or atleast one of the craziest).

8. Drink yourself into oblivion anyway, because you just spent a crapload of money on a player you didn't need.

Disclaimer: This system is 100% unchecked and unverified. If you decide to follow it then you may die in some horrible fashion or other. By doing so you also accept that I am not responsible for this and agree to buy me several alcoholic beverages whilst I supervise your sorry ass.

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At 8:50 pm, Anonymous KicKnWinG 2 said...

I hate it when this happens, and your method actually works pretty well. Depending on how well I like the player or team, I like to talk trash about management while getting sloshed. Blog is great, I hav got to find out where you got the "F**ck it, Im going deep." I actually laughed out loud when I saw it.

At 5:20 pm, Anonymous Sanchez said...

Thanks! As much as I ass around, I am actually devastated about losing Welker. Then again it gives me a reason to go out drinkin' all week so its not ALL bad...

At 8:19 am, Anonymous twins15 said...

As a Sixers and Allen Iverson fan, I know this feeling too well. :(

At 5:43 pm, Anonymous Sanchez said...

Unfortunately it seems to have become the norm these days doesn't it?


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