This Is All My Fault...

Have I missed something? Have I slipped into some kind of extra special circle of hell reserved especially for Miamians? Is Miamians even a word?

Well, to put it bluntly, yes, yes and yes (Actually, the jury's still out on the third one, but screw it) and it's all my fault. I'm so, so sorry.

You see, what happened was, I was dating this very nice young lady (that's 'Hot Chick' for all you guys out there) from Boston last year. I'd met her when she was on holiday in Miami and though her accent had bothered me at first, you don't look at listen to the mantle piece when your stoking the fire do you? Or something.

Anyways, in late June I went up to visit her. It was during this short visit that I made two grave errors that doomed us all to sporting hell.

The first error was made when I failed to chase an accidentally dropped hoagie wrapper, as the wind caught it and blew it into oncoming traffic. I know it was wrong, but at the time I figured 'heck, if the wind wants it that bad...'

The second (and perhaps more grave) error occurred when I was inadvertently caught drunkenly banging my new girlfriends room-mate. It wasn't my fault though! I had no idea what shifts she was working, how was I to know she would come home late in the evening and catch us at it?

So you see, if you were wondering why the Patriots are 17-0 and Boston in general, is winning everything, or why every team in Miami seems determined to prop up the rest of the league - well, now you have your answer. It's all my fault and I'm very, very sorry.

So there, I apologized Karma or God or whoever, now can we PLEASE have a Chargers victory on Sunday?