Why am I so Damned Obsessed with Figure Skating?

<-- It could have something to do with chicks like Sarah Meier but hey, I'm a big time Johnny Weir fan too...

Now lets get one thing straight alright? When I say 'Figure Skating' I don't mean any of that wussy crap that comes under the category of 'Ice Dancing'. 'Ice Dancing' is not a sport, it's what skaters do when they can't make it as figure skaters. 'Ice Dancing' is the Rugby League of the Ice World.

Hmm... I probably should have started this post with a disclaimer describing how I'm a football loving, meat eating, beer swilling heterosexual dude with a twelve foot erection for attractive female athletes, rather than proclaiming my fanlove for Johnny Weir but ehy, my masculinity speaks for itself aiight? I got hair everywhere its supposed to be...

Despite all that though, I find myself physically drawn to all the major Figure Skating events every year. I find myself getting frustrated that, right now, both the U.S. Figure Skating championships AND the European Figure Skating Championships are running at the same time. I'm actually annoyed that I can't watch both events at the same time. Thats how lame I can get at this time of year. If there was a limp wrist competition for sports fans I'd be winning it hands down (er... literally, if you'll excuse the pun)

But why am I like this? Well...

The physical prowess of all the men and women on the skating circuit is incredible and ok, alot of the dudes are 'batting for the other team', but I wouldn't want to take many of them on in a fight! (especially if the stakes were high and the dude was horny). The technical ability of these athletes is really something to behold and the fact that one slip over a five minute program can cost them the whole game really adds to the tension. That one slip is all it takes to throw away you're entire years training (and lets not forget that we're talking about ICE here... and they're on 5mm metal blades to boot...)

Ahh heck, all I'm trying to say here is: "Expect figure skating posts (and rants) over the next couple of weeks. Especially if the judges screw my man Johnny again"

...or something.