Shot to Nothing

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Watchability – A List of World Championships to be Contested in 2007

Below is a detailed list of all the World Cups and World Championships that will take place this year along with a ‘Watchability’ rating of between 1 (avoid like a bad case of Ebola of the crotch) and 10 (skive off work, take the phone off the hook and install a urinal in your living room).

Note: Some of these events are tournaments, some are annual leagues and some are one off events every four years. You can work out which is which for yourself because this is already feeling like a hard working idea for a post and I don’t want to invest any further effort into it.

Also I have not included any youth events because, really, nobody cares.

2007 INTERNATIONAL FEDERATION of AMERICAN FOOTBALL WORLD CUP:- Watchability? – This is the third IFAF World Cup but it’s the first one that the U.S will take part in (which pretty much makes it the first World Cup if you ask me…) Its hardly the SUPERBOWL but, if you can find it, then it’s a 7

Watchability? –
Easily a 10 despite the fact that New Zealand should dominate. Plenty of tough, close fought physical contests.

– Hot women in short skirts. Does the sporting genre even matter? 8

FIFA WOMEN’S WORLD CUP 2007 (soccer):-
– Butch women who want to be guys, playing in a tournament that nobody cares about. In China. Not like Netball at all. 2

2007 WORLD ICE HOCKEY CHAMPIONSHIPS (men’s and women’s):-
– Perhaps unsurprisingly, international ice hockey is far more entertaining then the NHL. Both the Men’s and Women’s championships should be worth a watch. 8

– I have no idea what the hell this is but if its anything like the drug riddled, sausage fest boredom of the ‘Tour de France’ then it’s a definite 1

The 2007 UCI TRACK CYCLING WORLD CUP CLASSICS should be much better, a 5 here.

– *yawn*… Sorry, did you say something? There must be something else on surely. How about some BASEBALL WORLD SERIES …then again… 1

Watchability? – In the Olympics Badminton is awesome. Outside of the Olympics Badminton is not awesome. 6

SPORTS ON ICE:- 2007 World Figure Skating Championships (Go Johnny!), Bobsleigh World Cup, Luge World Cup, Short Track Speed Skating World Cup, Skeleton World Cup and Speed Skating World Cup

Watchability? – The Figure skating World Championships (Go Johnny!) is always pretty intense and even if you don’t like figure skating, there are always the hot female skaters to watch. A solid 10

Other then that, well… there sure are a lot of things you can do on ice these days but not many of them make for thrilling viewing. 5

SPORTS ON SNOW:- Alpine World Ski Championships, Alpine Skiing World Cup (they need two events ‘cause Alpine Skiing is that good), Biathlon World Cup, Cross-Country Skiing World cup, Freestyle Skiing World Cup, Nordic Combined World Cup, Ski Jumping World Cup, Snow Boarding World Cup.

Watchability? – well, it depends. If you live in Sweden, Norway, Denmark, France or Switzerland (or if you’ve got a serious snow-fetish) then it’s probably going to be about an 8 or a 9 but for the rest of the world we’re talking about a solid 3 with perhaps a point or two more for the Snow Boarding and the Biathlon (you know, with the skiing AND the shooting… it’s weird but at least it’s watch-able)

SPORTS THAT AREN’T SPORTS:- FIDE World Chess Championship, the BDO World Darts Championship and the PDC World Darts Championship, World Series of Poker.

Watchability? – If you can actually find a channel that shows the whole FIDE World Chess Championship then I’ll give you five bucks. (If you can find it and then watch it intently for more then an hour without falling asleep, you get $10). This is a 1

With the darts it’s touch and go. If there’s nothing else on then it can be pretty entertaining, especially if Phil ‘The Power’ Taylor is playing. On the other hand, if there is some other sport on, you’ll probably be switching over. This scores 5

Unfortunately we can’t watch the WSOP live but when it is on it’s a slam dunk for the old Tivo. 9

All in all this looks to be a pretty slow year in sports don't-cha think?


Monday, February 26, 2007

What Do You Get...


...If you cross Busta Rhymes ----------------------------------->

plus Mike

<---------------------- with Michael Vick???

Why, you get Latrell Sprewell of-coarse!

equals Latrell


Blogroll Driveby

Some good reading from around the interwebs-
- WBRS is back(praise the lord!) but for some reason isn't talking about sports (WBRS Sports Blog)
- Topps has had enough of Derek Jeter (Deadspin)
- A great round up of College Hoops can be found on (Just call me Juice)
- Brian Butch is perhaps not so 'butch' after all (Insomniacs Lounge)
- This is quite possibly the worst idea for a tatoo ever. (The Mighty MJD)
and finally...
- The NFL scouting combine as seen through the eyes of KSK. What better way to see it? (Kissing Suzy Kolber)

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Just a quick word...

... to say that THIS is the funniest damned post I've read all year. Or possibly ever.


England stick with the plan. (i.e. they lose)

We lost it again? Half way through the second half I was so angry with England's performance that I stopped watching the game. I was furious that, yet again, the English players (and particularly the forwards) had not turned up for the match at all. What made it even worse is that they never looked like they thought they could win. Seriously, it was like watching a bunch of drunks who were just going through the motions of a Sunday pub-league game that they knew they couldn't win.

In the cold light of morning though my anger has died and I'm starting to see things in perspective. Don't get me wrong, I'm still royally pissed off at the England Team for their lack of basic skills like, oh I don't know... passing... tackling... that sort of thing... At the same time though, I'm remembering things such as this was a highly emotional occassion for Ireland being played at home in the intimidating Croke Park and that Ireland are easily the second best team in the world, behind New Zealand. I'm also remembering that England are rebuilding as a new side and that I wasn't actually expecting them to win the game anyway.

The truth is that, despite their unlucky loss to France a fort-night ago, Ireland are serious contenders for the World Cup. I've already put down money on them to win it in-fact. Yeah, I know there's alot of people out there who would call me crazy for thinking that anyone bar the All Blacks (NZ) will win it, but I know the Kiwi's. I've watched them fall at seemingly easy hurdles in World Cup after World Cup. For some reason, they always peak too early and find themselves losing games that they should win. And I think they will do exactly the same thing again this year, leaving the door open for the superb Irish to take down the big one.

Yes, they lack depth and yes they NEED their big guns like O'Gara and O'Driscoll to stay healthy but if they do, then Ireland are definately the number two seeds.

And when you put it like that, maybe the thrashing they gave England wasn't really so bad. Then again...


Saturday, February 24, 2007

England will miss their speed-men against Ireland

Got speed?English rugby has always had a knack for producing super fast wingers. Unfortunately none of them will be playing this weekend in the biggest game of the 2007 Six Nations.

Thats not to say that Josh Lewsey isn't a brilliant winger or that David Strettle doesn't deserve a shot in an England jersey, but neither of them have the sheer olympic speed that top flight International Rugby demands. Ok, you can get away with only having one ultra fast man on the wing, (in fact it works quite well if you're slower winger has a high workrate), but you cannot expect to compete with no outright speed freaks in the team.  Especially if you're playing a team like Ireland.

The Irish tactical set up is a good one; kick to the corners, play the territory game and force the opposition to playthe ball from their own half. Unfortunately for England, the best way to counteract this tactic is to get the ball to your speed guys and have them pelting it at full speed through the broken down Irish line (broken because of the chase down after the kick). Jason Robinson is a master of plays like this but, of-course, is injured and out of this weeks fixture.

Obviously Ireland are hurting badly from their unlucky last minute defeat to France last fortnight, but they have Brian O'Driscoll (easily the second best player in the world right now behind New Zealand's Daniel Carter) back from injury and they are still looking better then ever. I just can't see Engalnd winning this one.


Wednesday, February 21, 2007

A 90 minute borefest decided by a cheap shot...

No red card needed  ...welcome to soccer in the year 2007.

I know I bang on about the death of soccer alot but last nights Uefa Champions League 'game' (and I use the term loosely) between Manchester United and Lille was a brilliant example.

Is anybody talking about what the score was or who won today? The answer is no. Is anybody describing in painfully acute detail the winning goal? No again. In fact, the only thing that gets a mention from last nights game (and it only gets mentioned by those with absolutely nothing else whatsoever to talk about, like err... me...) is something that nearly happened. The Lille players nearly walked off the pitch after Ryan Giggs 'scored' from a free kick.

I may be going against the grain of popular thought out there, but isn't having the most important matches of the soccer calender decided by a cheap shot taken when the other team isn't ready, just a little bit... well... sad?  (and by sad I mean 'loser' sad and not cry me a river, boohoo sad...)

The game itself was awful. Neither team ever looked like they particularly wanted the win (which is pretty much par for the course in top flight European Soccer these days), a lucky cheap shot was the deciding factor and at the end of the game, both sides claimed that Uefa should do something about the state of play in the sport (which Uefa will completely ignore of-course, as they do every week).

I only wish that this kind of game hadn't become the type of stereotypical match we have come to expect week in and week out. Screw it, I'm off to watch lawn bowls...


Tuesday, February 20, 2007

#8 Hedgehunter

This horse makes Hedges his biatchNow before you start going all pissy on me, re-read the name of the category; It's 'Coolest names in sport', not 'Coolest human names in sport'. Bitch.

If you're going to buy a race horse and hope that one day it will win the biggest race in the entire world, 'The Grand National', then you could do a lot worse then naming your horse "Hedgehunter".

The Grand National is over 4 and a half miles long and has 30 fences, all of which look like the one in the photo above (i.e. like hedges). Hedgehunter won this race in 2005 and at the same time made me a lot of money so, not only does he have a cool name, but he can make you rich as well.

'Nough said.


Sunday, February 18, 2007

Animals have their own sport and we're not in on it.

Thats worth at least fifteen points...Ok, so we've all seen the picture of the polo elephant attacking the van by now right?

Maybe this was a random publicity stunt aimed at giving Elephant Polo, ( the king of random sports) a much needed publicity boost or maybe it was just an animal gone a bit nuts right?

WRONG. This animals' name is Huxley P. Harris and he is world renowned as one of the best in his chosen sport. Vehicle Destruction.
You see, what happened was, a few decades ago motor vehicles didn't exist and animals were still our primary source of transport. Whatever it was we rode it baby, Horses, Elephants, Camels, Donkeys, Mules, Asses (and hey, where the Ass is concerned, some people still love to ride it). Then along came the car and all of a sudden animals were defunct. No wonder they hate motoised vehicles so much.

To get their own back the worlds animals called a meeting and set up the D.V.A. (Destruction of Vehicles Association) and every year there is a competition to see which animal can cause the most damage.

So you see, you might think that the countless vehicle attacks by Bears, Elephants, Monkeys, Rhinos and even Sea Elephants (remember that one?) are all random acts by crazy animals, but they are in-fact pre arranged show-cases of destructive power.

Don't believe me? Well when was the last time you saw an elephant take on a lamppost huh? Why don't we see bears attacking fire hydrants or post boxes instead of cars?

What other possible explanation is there??



Who knew?The International Federation of American Football was set up to introduce a World Championship for Football and also to get Football into the Oympics.

No, I didn't know it existed and I sure as hell didn't know that this year will see the THIRD IFAF World Cup. I knew Football was going global, what with the regular season game in the UK and all, but now a World Cup too? Wow.

The 2007 IFAF World Cup will be held in Kawasaki, Japan between the 7th and 15th of July and will see a team from the USA participating for the first time (which pretty much makes this the first World Cup if you ask me...) The U.S. team will be entirely made up of NCAA and NAIA players and they will be joined by five other teams hailing from around the globe; Germany, Japan, Sweden(?), France(?!) and Korea (?!!)

What makes this even more random is that Japan are not only the hosts but also the current World Champions having won the previous two World Cups.

Not to rain on their parade or anything, but I'm fairly sure the Indianapolis Colts could give Japan a run for their money. And so could the Boise State Broncos for that matter...

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Thursday, February 15, 2007

I don't want Brady Quinn or Matt Schaub to go to London.

...or him...I don't want him...Its not that I don't like them or that I don't think they would have a good time in Britain's capital city, infact I'd be more than happy to see them fly accross the pond... just not in a Dolphins Jersey.

This week has seen a fair bit of speculation about the possibility of Miami going after a new QB. This specualtion has left me scratching my head in dumfounded confusion and chewing my nails in fear that the Miami management might actually be listening to any of it.

Am I the only Football fan out there that remembers how bad the Dolphins offensive line were during the regular season? Am I the only Dolphin fan who thinks it might actually be worth seeing what Culpepper can do when he's not walking around on half a knee?

The simple truth of the matter is that Miami DO NOT need to upgrade the QB position. What would be the point of trading up for Quinn if the O-line can't protect him? Is Matt Schaub really worth the effort when we should be focussing on fixing our damp and squidgy secondary?

If Cam Cameron is to have any success at all in his first season as a Phin, then he needs to fill the holes we do have before he goes after the ones we might have. Lets draft a strong O-lineman with our first pick, lets sign Nate Clements in Free Agency and lets focus on training up the guys we already have...

...and then, in next years draft, lets go after John David Booty.


Wednesday, February 14, 2007

How 'bout a nice romantic boat ride?

So its 'Valentines Day' and all. Don't be expecting a card from me though 'cause you're an ugly fucker and I'm low on cash. You are visiting my Sports Blog though, so I suppose I should give you something... hmm... lets see...

How about a nice little teaser question straight outta my 'Randomness of Sport' category? Will that do you?

Ok then, here goes:


How in the name of all that is holy, didPunting.

<- THIS become known as                                                         THIS ->

...answers on a post card.


Tuesday, February 13, 2007

#7 John David Booty

Booty-callI've been meaning to list John's name on this list ever since the Rose Bowl. It wasn't until then that I really started to take note.

And it all comes down to this one question that occured to me mid-game:-

"Hey, if John David Booty calls an audible that screws over the opposing defense, does that play become known as a 'Booty-Call'??

If it doesn't then it certainly should do...


Monday, February 12, 2007

National Bigbucks Association

Chicago Bull-sa

<-Five bucks if you can guess the year.

(NOTE: I do not know the answer so you have absoloutely no chance of winning. Bad Luck.)

You know what I don't like about the NBA?

I mean asside from the pansy ass fights and the big stars who don't want to play for the national team because "I don't want to play basketball all summer..." (Yeah, I mean who would want to play basketball ALL summer right?) ?

The thing that really grates me about the NBA is that over half the teams in the league make it to the damned playoffs. What exactly is the point of playing the regular season when16 teams out of 30 make it through to the playoffs? Any team worth a grain of salt makes it through and you can usually say who will and won't make it right from the beginning of the season.What's that all about for goodness sake?!

Well... money really. More teams in the playoffs means more playoff games = more fat pay cheques for the T.V. companies, the teams and the League. The obsession with the almighty buck tarnishes the whole NBA set up. Its like theres one too many people reaching their hands into one too many pies, if you know what I mean.

Why can't every sports league be more like the NFL?


Saturday, February 10, 2007

We just don't see enough male bonding in sports these days...

A little to the left...<- Whatever his problem is, I'm sure as hell that what you're doing there ain't helpin'

I'll take any chance I can to rib soccer. This image just confirms that soccer is indeed, full of pansies. (ok it doesn't, but soccer is still full of nancy boys aiight?)

I mean, is there any real reason that the physio can't stand above the player and pull/push his leg forwards?

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The Dolphins should go after Nate Clements. With a Vengence.

He'd look better as a fish...If the rumors are true, then the Dolphins should be taking a long, hard look at #22 on the Bills roster. In fact, if Nate clements really is going to explore free agency, then Miami need to make sure that they take the longest, hardest look need to make damn sure that they sign him ahead of anyone else.

If any team could use some help in their secondary its the mighty fish. I'm unsure whether it was the players or the system but the Dolphins secondary were just plain horrible at times during the regular season and you just can't have that problem in todays NFL. If a team, any team at all, knows that you're vulnerable deep, they can and will exploit that hole in your defense no matter what the cost. And every time they do, you risk going down by seven points.

Ever since the Dolphins lost Patrick Surtain and then (making possibly the worst decision of the whole season and despite his offer to take a pay cut), let Sam Madison go, the Dolphins secondary have played without flair, without shape and without strength. Nate Clements would have an instant impact at corner back and would introduce a leadership figure into the Phins secondary.

At the very least signing him would really stick one to the Buffalo Bills. And really, what other excuse do we need?


Thursday, February 08, 2007

Alright, enough is enough!

Here's a post and another one (and another one) detailing the surprise of certain sports bloggers that there have been 500,000 ticket requests for the Phins - Giants game to be played in London in October.

I've already commented on this before but I feel that I need to reiterate what I said again. The NFL has a HUGE following in Britain. Yes the Soccer League system in England is massive and ridiculously complex but you know what? Soccer is really, really dull. Just about every soccer club in the U.K. is suffereing from low attendences and a slowly dying T.V. audience. Theres only so many times you can watch a bunch of millionaire Nancys prance their way around a 90 minute 0-0 draw before you start getting bored.

I just can't believe that some sports bloggers find it so hard to get their heads around the idea that yes, there ARE big time NFL fans in the U.K. and yes, they do know and love Football just as much as their friends across the pond.

Deal with it.


Monday, February 05, 2007

Super Duper Bowl XLI

dollar dollar bills y'allI was pretty suprised to read that the guys at Deadspin found the Colts victory to be an uninspiring one. I found it very inspiring and exciting indeed; but I did win over $3,000 so perhaps I'm biased...

But seriously, everyone sees a game differently, so I can understand where those guys are coming from. What I saw though, was not uninspiring in the least.

I had to keep reminding myself that 'This is the Bears defense we're watching here!' And Peyton was reading them like a book!' I know that it looked like a laclustre performance from Chicago (and on the offensive side perhaps it was), but it was Manning's intangibles and his fantastic offensive line that enabled the Colts to look so comfortable.

All in all I thought that Superbowl XLI was pretty damned entertaining. Hester's return starts it off, then you had the consecutive fumbles, Waynes TD and Viniateri missing a field goal, leaving the half time score at 16-14. The second half saw two interceptions, one of which was returned for a touchdown. What else do you want from a Superbowl?

Then again, like I said, I did win a truck load of money on the game, so I could be ever so slightly biased...


Thursday, February 01, 2007

Turnoversaurus Rex and the 1 Billion Cavemen

Are you ready?Approximately one month ago I had just launched this blog and was vacantly surfing around the intraweb, looking for something that I could use that sort of... summed up the whole 'Shot to Nothing' idea.

I came across an online bookie who was offering 11/1 (12.0) against the Colts winning the Superbowl and in that moment I thought 'Thats it. That's the Shot to Nothing right there'

My reasoning was pretty simple; The Colts would almost certainly NOT make it to the big game, but for that massive price and with the Colts having the awesome Offense (atleast on paper) that they have, how can anyone pass up on that bet? I could afford to lose the money and I saw it as the perfect theme for my blog.

Then the weird things started to happen, not so much with the Chiefs but certainly with the Ravens. I really didn't think the Colts could win that one and even when they did, I still wasn't confident in my bet at all.

After one and half quarters into the Patriots game I was resigned to another Brady bowl and a fairly disappointing prospect in a Bears, Pats matchup (which is purely personal I guess). It didn't happen though, thanks to a truly awesome comeback by Peyton Manning and his team of playoff underachievers.

All of a sudden I was faced with the fact that the Colts could win the Superbowl after all. I almost couldn't believe it to tell you the truth. But thats what a 'Shot to Nothing' is all about you see. Its how I like to gamble, blog on sports and live my life in general. You've got to take a chance now and then otherwise you'll never know what you can achieve.

Ain't that right Rex?

After all those games turning over the ball and getting slammed one week by the press and then put on a pedastal the next, you must have been thinking "Hey, maybe I'm not cut out for this whole 'Quarterback' thing..." But look where you are now Rexy baby! You're about to put on a show thats going to be watched by a ridiculous 1,000,000,000 people worldwide and its all going to be LIVE. I suppose you've already realised by now that if there was a time to screw up, then this Sunday sure as hell ain't it, ehy buddy?

I've come full circle this offseason. I started off disappointed with yet another below average Dolphins performance and with a no hoper 'Shot to Nothing' bet. As the weeks progressed I began to get more and more excited and more and more optimistic about the Colts chances. Now I think they can win it. I'm dead sure that they will beat the Bears.

And if they do I'll have won over $3,000. Fingers crossed.