World Athletics Championships Day One...

...review is up over at EC. Check it out. Bitch.

Calling all Track fans...

My World Athletics Championships 2007 preview will be going up shortly is up now over on Epic Carnival. Be sure to check it out!

Football Week (2): NFC North Preview

It’s football week (part deux) here on planet Shot To Nothing and so we’re going to be previewing a different NFL division every day. And also comparing each team to a popstar… ’cause that’s the kinda shit we’re into. Bitch.

NFC North
A sexy dinosaur and Rex Grossman. In their predicted order:

The Chicago Bears - Michael Jackson
The Bears were hugely successful last season but for some reason they were also considered to be a bit of a joke. That might have had something to do with Rex Grossman... But anyhoo, the loss of Thomas Jones was a bad one although the Defense is still ridiculously good enough to make them the best in the NFC again. BUT... they are Superbowl losers and I'm not even sure I'm happy with my own placing for them this year. I still think they'll win the division but unlike the pundits, I don't think they'll be anywhere near as dominant as they were last year.

The Minnesota Vikings - Craig David
Understated and smooth, the vikings might surprise everyone this season. But I doubt it. I think the Bears are going to win this division easily again because it's going so damned easy fro them. Peterson was a nice pick for them and it might help Jackson to improve on last year but I don't think they have all the elements they need this year to make the
playoffs.

The Detroit Lions - Ricky Martin
The Lions look flashy but they haven't got much substance. Was Calvin Johnson really the right choice for them when what they really needed was someone who could throw the damned ball to their talented receiver core? I don't buy John Kitna as a fantasy sleeper and I don't buy him as a good QB, which pundits are saying won't matter with the weapons he has available. Well I got news for ya, it always matters. John Kitna is an average QB and he's not going to take the Lions anywhere they haven't already been.

The Green Bay Packers - Mariah Carey
Led by Brett Favre, the Packers are kind of old, clunky and predictable, but still show the odd touches of class now and then. I thought their defense showed improvement towards the end of last season but I'm not sure enough has been done in the off-season to make them a solid unit. I like Favre, but the Packers aren't going to move on until he does. It's not that their in decline it's more that they aren't moving onwards an upwards. This could be a long season for Packers fans.

So that does it for the previews, which is good news for me because I'm all out of popstars, but I hoped you enjoyed my skewed look at this years NFL season. Personally I don't even care who wins what right now, I just want the season to start... seriously, I'm jonesing all over the place right now. Good luck goes out to all your teams, but even better luck to The Miami Dolphins, 'cause we're gonna need it!

Football Week (2): NFC West Preview

It’s football week (part deux) here on planet Shot To Nothing and so we’re going to be previewing a different NFL division every day. And also comparing each team to a popstar… ’cause that’s the kinda shit we’re into. Bitch.

NFC West
Full of teams that are never as competitive as you think they're going to be. In their predicted order:

The St. Louis Rams - P. Diddy
Glamourous and surrounded by talent, the Rams are a team to be admired this season. Drew Bennet, Randy McMichael and Dante Hall were all gret additions to an already solid team and I think this is the year the Rams get back on top of their division.

The San Francisco 49ers - Jay Z
It's tough to decide whether you like the 49ers this season or whether you think they're gonna blow. I lean towards liking them thanks to a solid draft and the aquiring of Nate Clements to improve the secondary. It might have been costly, but this is a team on the up and this may be the season they really show it.

The Arizona Cardinals - Girls Aloud
Young, talented and pretty, the Cardinals have been a failed dark horse for many moons now. But this really could be the season we start to see those improvements coming though. I like Leinart passing to Boldin and Fitzgerald or handing off to James, it looks great on paper and it could bring a heck of a shock to a lot of teams this year. And I could see them making the playoffs. No, seriously.

The Seattle Seahawks - Kelly Clarkson
Boy, those pundits sure love the Seattle Seahawks don't they? Is it becauseof their ridiculous home field advantage or the fact that their division has been so soft of late? I don't know, what I do know though is that the Seahawks are in decline. Shaun Alexander is not going to have another great year this year (or ever again...) and Matt Hasslebeck is all smoke and mirrors. His receiving unit are not as good as they were two years ago and, although the team are remarkably well coached, I think this is going to be a terrible season for them. I know that's a fairly bold prediciton, as is placing them last in the division, but it's my gut feeling and I'm sticking with it.

Football Week (2): NFC South Preview

It’s football week (part deux) here on planet Shot To Nothing and so we’re going to be previewing a different NFL division every day. And also comparing each team to a popstar… ’cause that’s the kinda shit we’re into. Bitch.

NFC South

One star team and a load of 'also rans'. In their predicted order:

The New Orleans Saints - Beyonce
Fantastic to watch and with flair to spare, The Saints will continue to progress this season, winning the division and making another run at the
big one. If this years draft goes as well as last years draft then, holy crap...

The Carolina Panthers - Kelly Rowland
The Panthers Roster looks really fantastic but they just haven't had the success that you would think would come easy to them. Is that Jake Delhomme's
fault? Maybe, but if it is then David Carr will soon sort that out. If, as I suspect though, the Panthers problem is a coaching one, then I don't think we'll see much roar from them this season. I can't see them making the playoffs.

The Atlanta Falcons - Michelle Williams
The Falcons have been fading from peoples prediction lists more and more every year. I can't even guess at what will happen with the Michael Vick situation but I can't see Harrington having anywhere near the same effect on Defenses. And if they loose that threat, what exactly have the Falcons got going for them? This is going to be a bad, bad year for them.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Wasn't there a fourth member once?
Sorry Bucs fans, Jeff Garcia is not as good as you think he is and he sure as heck isn't the answer to your crazy QB shenanigans. The Bucs made some pretty decent off-season moves, Gaines Adams and Cato June are sure to liven things up, and they are certainly a team on the up, but this is another rebuilding year for them so don't expect too much.

Football Week (2): NFC East Preview

It’s football week (part deux) here on planet Shot To Nothing and so we’re going to be previewing a different NFL division every day. And also comparing each team to a popstar… ’cause that’s the kinda shit we’re into. Bitch.

NFC East
The division full of teams I love to hate. In their predicted order:

The Dallas Cowboys - Eamon
Annoyingly successful. No matter how much I want them to bomb the Cowboys always seem to go from good enough to really good wihtout ever dipping into totally shite. Personally I don't think Tony Romo is anywhere near as good as his hype suggests but I think the cowboys
have built a nice offense to surround him with and though it pains me to say it, I think they can win the division this year. Why? Because the Eagles are going to suck more frequently. There, I said it.

The Philadelphia Eagles - Frankie
The Eagles look kinda hot on the surface but there's something about them that stops me from picking them out as winners this season. It's not something I can put my finger on but it's there nonetheless. I know the fans and pundits are all 'Yay, McNabb's back' but is he going to last the whole season? I doubt it. And if he does get inmjured again, then what?
I think the Eagles will make the playoffs but only by the skin of their beaks.

The New York Giants - Ashlee Simpson
The Giants are going to suck this season. Eli Manning is Mr. Inconsistant, Tom Coughlin hasn't got a clue and the one guy who dragged them kicking and screaming through last season has decided it would be better to retire then to play another down as a Giant. The only reason I'm not putting them last is because the Redskins are going to suck more. Just.

The Washington Redskins - Nick Lachey
The Redskins are on the up again this season but will struggle to get the success they want. But Clinton Portis is back and the offense is getting better every year so the Redskins are definately on the way up. It won't be much longer before they start competing for the division title again.

Football Week (2): AFC North Preview

It’s football week (part deux) here on planet Shot To Nothing and so we’re going to be previewing a different NFL division every day. And also comparing each team to a popstar… ’cause that’s the kinda shit we’re into. Bitch.

AFC North

Theoretically tough to call, but in practice we go with the gut. So, in their predicted order:

The Baltimore Ravens - Dr Dre
That Defense may be getting older, but they can still deal out the best beats to anyone who dares to challenge them. Having said that, this is the year for the Ravens, it's either win big now or spend the next five years wondering about what could have been. They've certainly made some steps in the right direction by bringing in Willis McGahee. If everything clicks for them this season, not only will they win their division but they should be firm contenders for the Superbowl.

The Cincinnati Bengals - Timbaland
Not quite as skilled as the Ravens but the Bengals are filled with incredible flair and they are a lot of fun to watch. Last season a run of frankly weird form saw them go 8-8 and miss out on the playoffs. Was I the only one pre-season who had them pegged as SUperbowl contenders? Well if I was then I'm sure this year I won't be. Their Defense still sucks though, so they will have to have the 'Brazil Mentality' in their approach to the big games, but with that offense, it shouldn't be a problem. Their record will likely reflect the toughness of their division but I believe, if they can just stop getting arrested, then this might be a great year for them.

The Pittsburgh Steelers - Jazzy Jeff
The Steelers time at the top has passed, plain and simple. With Mike Tomlin's first season they should be looking to prevent a full-on cyclical decline and try to hold on for a winning season. Ben Roethlisberger has looked pretty damned sharp in the pre-season and I think that the Steelers will be a tough team to beat, but not playoff contenders by any stretch.

The Cleveland Browns - The producer that thought Vanilla Ice could make a
comeback.
Humourously enough, there are pundits out there that think the Browns are going to be a good team this season. I wait with eager anticipation to see this perenially bad team fail miserably once again and too watch Brady Quinn become a bust. I'm going to 'go out on a limb' here and predict that the Browns will have the most interceptions this season. Apart
from the aquisition of Joe Thomas, I really don't know what other good news there is for the Browns.

We Interrupt Football Week For a Special Report: Suck On That Dave Collins

You may or may not remember me ranting ceaselesly on about Dave Collins and the U.K. Athletics team's ridiculous choice to take out of form Rebecca Lyne to the World Championships instead of the rising star Jenny Meadows, who has beaten Lyne twice already this season.

Well it turns out that Lyne can't make it because she hasn't fully recovered from injury. This leads me to believe (naturally) that fate thinks Dave Collins is an idiot too. If I was Jenny Meadows right now I'd be half-tempted to tell Collins where to stick it when he calls up all crawling and begging. Half tempted... this is the World Champs afterall.

I can only hope Meadows now goes on to win a medal so that the whole world can see just how brainless the U.K. athletics selectors really are. Go Jenny, we're right behind you.

[BBC Sport]

Football Week: AFC West Preview

It’s football week here on planet Shot To Nothing and so we’re going to be previewing a different NFL division every day. And also comparing each team to a popstar… ’cause that’s the kinda shit we’re into. Bitch.

AFC West 
No hopers and possible dopers. In their predicted order:

The San Diego Chargers - Justin Timberlake
The Chargers are immensely talented in nearly every faucet of their team. Lead by a ridiculously good, record breaking running back, they were a joy to watch all season... until they lost to the Patriots. I'm not going to blame that loss on the 4-12 but you do have to wonder if Marty-Ball had taken the Chargers as far as it could. It was time for Doc Brown to turn up in his Delorean time machine and say 'Marteeeee, we need to get moving!'

If anyone thinks the Chargers aren't going to win this division in 2007 then steer clear of them, 'cause they got problems. This is the Chargers year and unfortunately for Norv Turner, if he doesn't get it done this season, he may not get many more chances.

The Denver Broncos - One of the other dudes from N'Sync
Come on now, you know that although the Broncos look sexy, they just aren't as talented as the Chargers.  Jay Cutler could well be the real deal, but he's still in development and the extra pressure this season may well find him out. I still think they'll make the playoffs 'cause shit, their secondary alone could probably take them there  (ok, maybe not...) but I don't see them progressing further then their first game.

The Kansas City Chiefs - One of the other dudes from N'sync
How big a QB competition is it when you've got Damon Huard in the mix? I mean really? Every year I think the Chiefs are going to be contenders and I run my mouth about them hoping they will perform well and everybody will think I'm a genius. It never works. Yes they are improving, but no, you can't look at them as big time players in the AFC yet. I still can't believe some people thought they might beat the Colts in the Playoffs last year... dumbasses.

The Oakland Raiders - The ugly guy from N'Sync who nobody remembered let alone liked 
(Was his name Al' by any chance?) The Raiders had possibly the worst O-line in history last season but this season they have er... actually you know, it's not that much better. Can anyone see the Raiders providing decent enough protection for their hot-shot rookie to make a mark this season? I can't. Then again Vince Young worked some magic on the Titans last year so maybe JaMarcus Russel can do it for the Raiders this year. But I doubt it.

Football Week: AFC South Preview

It’s football week here on planet Shot To Nothing and so we’re going to be previewing a different NFL division every day. And also comparing each team to a popstar… ’cause that’s the kinda shit we’re into. Bitch.

AFC South

Home of your 'world' champion Indianapolis Colts... In their predicted order:

The Indianapolis Colts - R.E.M.
Sure they play great, but man is their leader a freaky son of a... I, for one, was glad when the Colts finally reached the top and Manning got rid of that monkey on his shoulder. I had grown sick of listening to idiots who decreed that Peyton wasn't a great QB becuase he had never won the superbowl etc. It was time for the bus-faced one to show us that he could indeed, win the big games.

And now that he's done it and half the team have gone elsewhere I did have reservations about choosing them as division winners. But not for long. The thing is, I've always thought of the Colts aapproach to football as being similar to Brazil's in their approach to soccer i.e. 'It doesn't matter how many you score, we will score one more.' That's how they play and it seems to work for them. Their offense still has the key players they had last year, although the loss of Dominic Rhodes (who in my opinion saved the day for them both in the S.B. and the AFC Championship) could be a huge blow. Despite this, I still see them as the constant threat to any aspiring AFC team.

The Tenesee Titans - Christina Aguilera
The Titans, lead by Vince Young, are young hot and flashy. I'm was a bit concerned by Vince Young's apparent love of... well, himself, but I guess that's what happens when you take a losing team and make them a winning one in your rookie season. It's almost a shock when you remember that thew Titans only finished 8-8 last year, so impressive were their final outings, but I'm not sure I would predict them to do much better. I see them as a 9-7 team this year, possibly scraping into the playoffs.

The Jacksonville Jaguars - Milli Vanilli
Sorry Jags fans, I just don't buy the hype. Sure you can dress the team up, sing about the defense and about Byron's return, but the truth is the Jags are just another average team that aren't sure which direction they want to go in. Fred Taylor seems to become progressively less impressive year by year and the wide receiver core is sorely lacking in talent. I just don't see them doing anything big this season.

The Houston Texans - Usher
The Texans have made some great moves in the off-season, bringing in Matt Schaub and Ahman Green, but they lack substance where it matters. Is Schaub really going to do a better job behind that shaky O-line then David Carr did? I doubt it. It will likely be another long season for Texans fans but atleast the team looks to be going in the right direction.

Football Week: AFC East Preview

It's football week here on planet Shot To Nothing and so we're going to be previewing a different NFL division every day. An also comparing each team to a popstar... 'cause that's the kinda shit we're into. Bitch.

AFC EAST

To get us rolling, I'm going to preview the finest division of them all (yes it is), the AFC East. In their predicted order:

The New England Patriots - The Polyphonic Spree
The Pats are filled with big name players and made some spectacular off season moves that are well documented. Surely the best (and most unfair) of these is the acquiring of Adalius Thomas, who brings strength to (debatedly) the only weakness that New England had. Along with Randy Moss, everybody on the Roster seems thrilled to be a Patriot and confident about the season ahead. But I question their jubilation.

A bit like the P-Spree, they appear to be filled with good things to say about the sheer quantity of talent that they have but when it comes down to it, how happy can they be about their share of the paycheck? Teams of superstars rarely perform as well as expected, for some reason, be it financial envy or craving of the spotlight, they just find it difficult to play well as a team. Not that I think the Pats will fail to win the division this season, but I don't think they will be as dominant as everybody (including them) seems to be expecting.

The New York Jets - Jessica Simpson
Whilst the Jets often look quite tasty during the season, you get the tend to get the feeling that they're not the complete package yet. It's almost like they're lacking a vital ingredient or two that stops them from joining in with the superstars. I think it will be another good year for the Jets, perhaps another playoff appearance too, but not it won't be a stellar season either way.

The Miami Dolphins - Madonna
The Dolphins are a team filled with a tradition of excellence and a history of dominant play, but you can't help wondering if they're ever going to be hot again. I still believe that the Dolphins draft was a good one and that John Beck and Ted Ginn will prove to be excellent additions to the roster, but rebuilding takes time and this may prove to be a long season for us Dolfans. Did I like the trade for Trent Green? well, not really, but I understand that we needed a stop gap and that's what Green is. If the Dolphins do anything at all this year then it will be down to their pretty mean looking Defense, but the way the Offense (and by that I mean the O-line) looks at the moment, we will be lucky to go near 8-8.

The Buffalo Bills - Lilly Allen
How can I put this politely? The Bills... really suck. I, like others, find myself baffled by the release of Nate Clements, London Fletcher, Takeo Spikes and anyone else on the roster who was half-decent. I'm not sure there is a word in the dictionary for the Bills off-season, oh wait, yeah there is; Crap. Yep, that about covers it. This is going to be a long long season for Bills fans, but that's ok 'cause they're probably used to it by now.

Is Fantasy Rap the New Black?

It's nowhere near as good as the original FF-Rap, but it's worth a look for some of the oneliners alone.

[youtube="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4Z6n9ECXHw"]

What's Crazier then an Underwater Hula Record?

The answer: An underwater pogo jump record

And what's crazier then that? Why, having 157 Guiness World Records to your name ofcourse.

[youtube="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PF0zn3C6b5c"]

This Guy Would Make An Excellent Baller

Sometimes brain operations go wrong in a good way. Take Leonid Stadnyk here, whose ridiculous growth spurt at age 14 was caused by accidental stimulation of his pituitary gland during an op.

He did stop growing eventually, but only after he'd become the tallest man alive at 8 foot 5 inches. The Ukrainian giant now stands at a height just 6 inches below the the tallest man ever, though his parents are both shorties at 5'8 and 5' respectively.

The story goes that Stadnyk rode his bike to work until he became to big for it and had to take the bus... which he also grew too big for and had to resort to his family's horse and cart.  Eventually he was forced to give up his job as a vet after he couldn't afford (or find probably) shoes  that fit his feet and therefore he ended up with frostbite.

I don't know if Stadnyk has ever played ball before but I'm sure the Lakers will be on the phone any day now to offer him a tryout.

[Leonid Stadnyk Wiki]

Jeremy Wariner Should Wear His Sun Glasses at Night. And Whenever Possible.

So yeah, he became the third fastest man ever to run the 400m last night but...


Daaamn!

The Ridiculocrity Of The UK Team Selection Is Never(ever)ending.

The man to your right is Dave Collins and he may well be the worst manager of all time. In any sport.

Aside from the fact that the guy has an IQ level lower then that of a Tic-Tac, he seems completely incapable of making a good decision. After last week's ludicrous one event restriction was placed on Marlon Devonish, I didn't think things could get much worse. But yes, ofcourse they can.

A British Athlete called Jenny Meadows, who has not only been consistently good and shown huge potential all season but has also achieved the A standard qualifying time in 800m, has been passed over for Rebecca Lyne, an athlete who has been injured for the last 18 months and has shown zero form since her comeback. Why have they made such a horrendous decision? Well, Beccy Lyne won a medal once... a few years back... sure she sucks at the moment but why should that count against her?

I know, it's exasberating isn't it? Oh, and they've included a athlete who has just come back from a ban for missing drugs test... and she has zero form at the moment as well.

Dave Collins and the whole UK Athletics management team should be fired for imcompetence with immediate effect and replaced by somebody (anybody) with an ounce of brain power.

[BBC Sport]

Forget Fantasy Football, Fantasy Track Is Where It's At...

With the World Athletics Championships just around the corner, the IAAF have launched a Track and Field fantasy game!

The details are sketchy at best so far, which leads me to believe that they haven't really thought the idea through yet, but with signed T-shirts(!) and World Athletics Tour Tickets on offer to the winners, it could well be worth entering.

I know I will be!

Sun, Sea and... that other thing too.

I'm off for an extended weekend by the sea with an inappropriate woman.

In the mean time why not check out Epic Carnival, which has an incredible amount of good sports content each and every day. Go ahead, you'll love it I promise.

Also, don't miss the Hungarian Grand Prix on Sunday, as Lewis Hamilton looks to regain his previous form and get his title chase back on track.

Until Monday then, thanks for all your support as always and have a great one this weekend. I know I will be ;)

Man Utd. Sign Nine Year Old. No, Seriously.

Up until last week nine year old Australian kid Raihn Davis was just some talented junior who scored more goals then his team-mates. But not anymore!

After his grandfather put together a DVD of him playing for his school team, Manchester United picked up the phone and signed Rhain to their youth squad. Previous to this move, David Beckham was the youngest player ever signed by a club, at age 14. I guess they figured that that turned out ok, so heck, why not sign a kid who's barely learned his 2 times table?

Here is young Rhain's er... 'highlight reel':

[youtube="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hG47FDenyXw"]

One of the biggest clubs in the world signs a nine year old Australian kid after watching a dvd of him which his grandfather sent to them. Sometimes this shit just writes itself.

Blogroll Driveby...

Some of the best from around the Blogzone...

A bit like politics, religion is another thing that should not mix with sport. Unless it's like, a religious sport or something... but I don't know any of those. Umm...hmm... [Epic Carnival]

"Eric Gagne is a Red Sox, Mark Texiera is a Brave, and nobody else matters." - It's the trade deadline minus the faff. [Babes Love Baseball]

Billy could kick Lou's ass any day. I mean just look at that nosething, he could take eys out with that baby! [Home Run Derby]

Finally the Culpepper fiasco is brought to an end. In Oakland, of all places. [WBRS Sports Blog]

Julio Franco (excellent name) has been cut by the Braves [Stupid Sideline Reporters]

There are two many things on this list that sound like me... [Pacman Jonesin']

Althought this article makes for convincing reading, I'm not sure I buy Jason Campbell having a breakout season this year? [SI]

And finally...

Why the heck does Alison Stokke think she needs acting skills? It's not like Jessica Alba has them... [Sports By Brooks]

Decisions Like This Should Get People Fired

Get ready peeps, the soap box is well and truly out today.

The UK Athletics management team have a history of making awful selection decisions but this one may well be the is the worst decision of all time.

Marlon Devonish, Britains best sprinter, has been told he has to choose between running either the 100m or the 200m sprint at the World Athletics Championships. He has chosen the 100 but he can't be happy about this at all.

What kind of lame-brained shit is that? Can you imagine someone telling Carl Lewis or Michael Johnson that they could only compete in one event at a major championships?

What makes this even more ludicrous is that Britain doesn't even have another 200m sprinter with the qualifying time. So instead of having one of Europes best sprinters in the 200m's they are going to have no-one. Zilch. Nada.

And why have they made this decision? In order to 'keep Devonish fresh for the relay' (!?!) Dave Collins and the rest of the people behind UK Athletics need to quit tea-bagging each other in the office and wake-thefuck-up. The U.K. is not an oldskool eastern European country and you do not mess with an Athlete in order to have a better relay squad. Ever.

EVER.

And you know what? Tyson Gay agrees with me.

[UK Athletics Team]