Ridiculousity +5

I thought I was done with blogging about the Draft for the rest of the year. But then I came across some of the ludicrousity (that's two new words in a matter of seconds!) that has been posted by Dolphins 'fans' over on the fanhouse.

Check out some of these comedy nuggets:

" THE DOLPHINS ARE THE LAUGHING STOCK OF THE NFL.TED GINN JR. OVER BRADY QUINN.ARE YOU KIDDING ME.HAS TO BE THE BIGGEST BLUNDER IN THE NFL DRAFT HISTORY." (His Caps.)

Er, no. Have you forgotten about last years draft already?

"I officially resign as a Miami Dolphin fan after 35 years. That was one of the worst draft decisions and time will prove it! Idiots! What a dysfunctional organization... "

I'm not entirely sure who hired you, but when I find out I'm sure as going to fire his ass. This next one is one of my particular favorites:

"i didn't agree with hiring cameron he blew the game in the playoffs for the chargers."

You see, we were ALL wrong about Marty ball; it was all Camerons fault. Damn it, if only Huizenga had spoken to this dude before hiring a new head coach! He hasn't even played one game yet and already he's ruined the damn franchise! what are we going to do Phin fans, what are we going to do?!

But it gets better:

"This franchise is a JOKE. Huizenga hired a coach that shares a similar RELIGIOUS outlook... Wayne Huizenga has taken over control of the Dolphins, he has used his RELIGIOUS philosophy to guide this team to the bottom of the NFL."

Hmm... so there was only one player in the draft who had the same religious outlook as him then?

I don't know what all of this says about the average intelligence level of your modern day Dolphin fan, but if you listen to this lot... actually, if you listen to this lot then you're probably one of them. So I guess the rest of us have nothing to worry about.

NFL Draft 2007 Day One Recap; 'I can see clearly now the rain has gone'

As the dust settles and the shouts of 'WTF?!' from the fans die down it becomes easier to analyse what really happened. Did Quinn end up being a steal for the Browns? Was Ginn Jr. really the right pick for the Phins?

Only time will tell ofcourse, but weighing in with irrational opinions is what we're all about down here at 'Camp Shot to Nothing', so here goes...

The Browns trade with Dallas to get back into the first round and take Quinn at no.22 was a good one and a bad one. When you look at that draft sheet on paper you see a franchise OT and a franchise QB, which is awesome. But, when you look at the trade sheet you think 'Damn, Cleveland got hosed'. I think both reasonings are correct, so I guess that means I'm sitting on the fence. And it's warm and comfy here, so kiss my ass.

The Dolphins picks were as follows:

WR Ted Ginn Jr. (Rd1 Pk9), QB John Beck (Rd2 Pk40), C Satele Samson (Rd2 Pk60) and RB Lorenzo Booker (Rd3 Pk71).

There was a hell of a lot of misguided disappointment from Dolphins fans at the Ginn pick, but as the second round played out, it all started to make a lot more sense. Ginn more than filled the huge hole vacated by Welker and Miami got their Good Young QB in John Beck. The O-line was also treated by the picking of Samson at centre. I'll bet if you looked at the post-it note in Cam Cameron's war room after the second round, things were looking pretty good.

I 'm not so sure about the picking of an RB in the third round though. I guess that means Ricky Williams will not be coming back... but then again... It just seems a bit miss-timed. I can't don't want to believe that Booker was high on the Phins' post-it list at the beginning of the draft, but who knows?

I tend to think that, while the first day leans towards fixing a teams current problems, the second day is all about looking towards the future. We'll see how it goes.

Complete Draft Tracker for the first three rounds can be found here. [NFL.com]

Meh, That'll Do.

- With the ninth pick in the 2007 NFL Draft, the Miami Dolphins take Wide Receiver Ted Ginn Jr.

Wow. I didn't see that one coming. Once Brady drifted down to No. 9 I thought it was almost a done deal that Miami would take him. I even started trying to convince myself that Quinn could be the next Marino... hey, shut-up asshole, I was trying to console myself with the most likely pick.

It was only when I saw Brady's face when they said that the pick had been made that I knew we hadn't spoken to him and we weren't going with him. After the blind panic set in, I tried to rationale who we might have gone for; Thomas and Brown were gone so I thought maybe Leon Hall...

But no,  the Dolphins went for a player that I loved to watch, rated higher than most folks but never thought that we would pick in a million years.

First I was shocked and pleased at the same time, then I was a bit disappointed at the Phins going for a WR when we have so many other problems. Finally, with a couple minutes to think about it, I'm starting to think it makes perfect sense. Who was the Dolphins best Offensive player last year?  Wes Welker. Who was he? He was a punt returning, kick returning WR who played well despite a lack of big speed.

But Welker has gone to the Patriots and Ted Ginn does all the things he used to do, except he does them better and he does them faster. Am I happy with this pick? Yes, BUT only on the condition that the rest of the draft is more solidly focused on the holes we have and not so much of a reach.

I'm a pretty happy fan right now, if a little pensive.

How Many Mice Does It Take to Screw In A Light Bulb?

...two, but how do they get in there?

A joke for starters and just for good measure, a cheerleader too. Why so generous?

It's simple really, I'm trying to take my mind off of the damned draft. I don't know about you but I feel like this year is one of the most unpredictable drafts to date.

Just as I got through saying how the Lions had to pass up on Calvin Johnson if the Raiders didn't take him, Vic Carucci over on NFL.com goes into why they will take him.

But more then the unpredictability, I find my head spinning over and over about who the Dolphins will take and how they may play it out. The possibilities are endless but, to be perfectly honest, there's not many likely options that I find attractive.

I may be flogging a dead horse here (meh, it makes a change), but I don't think the Phins should take a QB in the first round. I want to see us make a concerted effort to fix that offensive line. We could have done a lot better last year if it hadn't been for that particular issue and it's one that I think we shouldn't forget about in favour of QB fever.

What would I do? Unfortunately, my play is the one least mentioned and perhaps least likely to happen; I'd go after a big trade that would see Joe Thomas coming my way. Failing that I'd be satisfied with Levi Brown, at-least I'd feel like we were headed in the right direction.

Either way. right now I'm just trying to look forward to the draft instead of constantly trying to over think it. Which is my usual tendency. Ragnamit.

Blogroll Driveby...

Some of the best from around the Blogzone...

Nick Saban hasn't signed a contract yet?! Well, well, well... Also, the picture is a new personal favorite of mine. [The Feed]

A couple of Newbies have impressed (not always for the right reasons) the guys over at [Every Day Should be Saturday]

The Phillies are looking to sweep, the Yankees are looking to... well, be a bit like the Yankees again. [Babes Love Baseball]

Is Amobi Okoye ready for the NFL? (Sanchez says 'yeah, why not')[The Big Lead]

This one kind of speaks for itself. Come on now, we've all thought about it. Yes you have, you sick puppy... [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Time for a poll. No not that type of pole... - Who do you like: Pedro Maritnez or Sandy Koufax [Complete Sports]

And Finally...

Mr. T is back. I know, awesome right? And it is kinda sports related. [Signal to Noise]

I Wouldn't Like to be Lane Kiffin or Matt Millen this Weekend.

...or ever for that matter. But this weekend in particular, I wouldn't want to be the guy who passes up on Calvin Johnson.

Last year everybody knew that the texans had made a mistake passing up on Reggie Bush before one game of the season had been played. This year it might not be so obvious, but I think any team who lets C.J. pass them by is going to regret it time after time after time in the seasons to come.

You don't need me to tell you about the physical phenom that Johnson is nor the amazing talent that he possesses, we all know he is an awesome talent and is easily the best player available in this years draft. So why won't the Raiders or the Lions pick him? Because their individual situations dictate that they can't do it. Sucks to be them.

The Raiders need a Quarter Back and they can't afford to not take either of the two superb talents on offer. The Lions? Well the Lions can't take another damned WR or they'll risk a riot. Should either of these teams ignore their problems and draft C.J. with their round one pick?

No. They just can't afford to. Which is why, despite the obvious, I would hate loathe to be either of those guys come Saturday.

Hat-tip:

[USA Today]

The Big Hits

In the build up to the Rugby World Cup this September, I'm going to write a regular feature on why you should make time to watch this brilliant tournament.

Not many people realise just how physical the game of Rugby is. Rugby players make devastating tackles on each other, they play without pads and they have bigger fights then any other sport. It's not uncommon to see two guys taking lumps out of each other with their fists only for both of them to be warned and then left to carry on playing.

The clip below isn't the best for pure hits but it does some up the drama of the sport perfectly. Stick with it 'til the end though and you'll see some nice juicy bone breakers that should satisfy your appetite for hits. And if you want to see more then just slap 'Rugby Hits' into You Tube.

[youtube="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_bRQHE_JcQ"]

How many times do I need to say this; If you like Football then you'll love Rugby. Are you convinced yet?

Culpepper is on his way 'cause the Sports Writers of Miami said so...

Armando Salguero of the Miami Herald, obviously knows something that we Dolphins fans don't. Check out this quote from his article about the upcoming draft:

"Lost in the Trent Green trade speculation and the intrigue about Daunte Culpepper's soon-to-follow trade or release is the fact the Dolphins still will be looking for their future quarterback..."

Correct me if I'm wrong, but we haven't actually heard anything definite about Daunte's future with the Dolphins. Are we now operating on the 'no smoke without fire' system to generate our factual reporting? Are rumors and conjecture from an anti Culpepper press all that's needed to start the ball rolling on his trade/cut?

"...the Dolphins aren't just searching for one starting-caliber quarterback, but rather, they're trying to find two."

I guess so.

This kind of shit cuts my biscuit. I haven't spoken to one Miami fan who wouldn't like to see Daunte given a chance to return to full fitness. The absolute worse thing the dolphins could do in this situation is to spend a years worth of salary on his recovery only to allow him to go to another team to attempt his comeback.

I was looking forward to the draft this weekend but now I'm starting to feel a bit sick. If we allow reporters to decide who our team drafts and who they decide to cut, then what's next? News anchors firing coaches? Sideline reporters calling the plays?

Can this get any sillier?

I guess this was inevitable. If you're so inclined, you can now purchase that hat over on Ebay. The bidding is currently up to $5,600.

I'm willing to bet that if you phoned up the company and claimed to run a little league team that was in need of some new caps, 'Vitamin water' would probably send you over a whole teams worth.

So what exactly are you paying for here? Urlacher's Sweat? Is that really worth $5,600 to you?

Screwing the Pink

Yeah, that got you're attention didn't it?

But we're talking about snooker here and in particular we're talking about the World Snooker Championships which kicked off this weekend in Sheffield. Sheffield is apparently 'Snooker City'. Fair enough, that city had to be known for something and snooker is about as good as it's going to get quite frankly...

Before we get to the results so far allow me to point out that the far from enticing image your see to your right, is of a streaker at last years World Champs. And yes, that streaker was the highlight of the entire two weeks. That's how great snooker is man, a fat naked dude makes it more watchable.

Anyways, here are the first round results so far:

John Parrott (Eng) bt Steve Davis (Eng) 10-9

Matthew Stevens (Wal) bt Joe Delaney (Irl) 10-2

Peter Ebdon (Eng) bt Nigel Bond (Eng) 10-7

Anthony Hamilton (Eng) bt Marco Fu (Hkg) 10-3

Ian McCulloch (Eng) bt Graeme Dott (Sco) 10-7

Ronnie O'Sullivan (Eng) 10-2 Ding Junhui (Chn)

Barry Hawkins (Eng) 9-10 Fergal O'Brien (Ire)

Notables so far: There have been no upsets so far, Last years Champ (Dott) is out and Ronnie O'Sullivan is up for it big time.

What if the Characters from Street Fighter II were Eligible for the Upcoming NFL Draft?

...what positions would they play and who would draft them?

Because life could be so much more interesting if reality had a few less rules.

Ryu - LB

Positives - Ryu is a truly awesome Linebacker with strength, speed and the ability to spin-kick over the trench battles on a blitz route that the QB will never see coming. With an uncanny ability to bat passes out of the sky with his incredible dragon punches, and flat out fireball any Running Back that heads in his direction, Ryu really is the complete package.

Negatives - Flat out refuses to go anywhere without Ken. There have been press reports that the two former co-trainees have fallen out but these are largely unsubstantiated rumors. Also has the tendency to throw a fireball when he meant to throw a dragon punch and this can cause havoc on the sidelines.

Most likely to be drafted by: The Pittsburgh Steelers. A good replacement for Joey Porter.

Ken - RB

P - Ken possesses uncanny similarities to Ryu and yet uses them to complement a different position. Once in possession of the ball, Ken will almost always throw a fireball to clear the path before rolling along the ground to punch his way through the D. Doesn't worry so much about finding the holes as he does making the holes, Ken is an excellent north to south runner.

N - Personal Problems. Ken has been forced to take out a restraining order against former training partner Ryu who he claims has been stalking him ever since an experimental night in the woods back when they were teenagers.

Most likely to be drafted by: Whoever takes Ryu.



E.Honda - DE

P - Although incredibly fat and slow, E.Honda uses his patented 'thousand hand slap' to keep O-linemen off of him before launching his fat ass through the air in a devastating horizontal manoeuvre that has seen the demise of many a QB.

N - He's fat, slow and uncommitted, preferring to eat sushi rather than train. Also has an unpleasant habit of grabbing and dry humping cheerleaders, team doctors, coaches and anyone else within reach for that matter. His last victim was rumored to be Nick Saban.

Most likely to be drafted by: The New England Patriots looking to cash in on that Japanese market.

Blanka - C

P - Quite possibly the best Centre of all time, nobody is ever going to get past Blanka. Using a little known technique, Blanka will turn himself into a blinding ball of electricity immediately after snapping the ball. On a running play Blanka will spin through the air bowling any opposition to the floor.

N - Finding electrocution proof O-linemen is proving harder and harder in today's NFL. Because of this it may be hard to find anybody willing enough to risk death by lining up next to him.

Most likely to be drafted by: Miami Dolphins. He won't look out of place in Miami

Guile - QB

P - Guile is your prototypical QB, with good arm strength, great vision and an uncanny ability to beat any opponent no matter who is giving him the playcalls. Oh, and that sonic boom thing he does is pretty decent at dealing with any Corner Back Blitz.

N - Guile is far more concerned with his image then he is with his career. Has already signed numerous contracts for photo-shoots in several well known Men's Magazines. Has left a trail of pregnant women in his wake and could be exceptionally high maintenance.

Most likely to be drafted by: The Oakland Raiders. He will be dropped after one year however.

Dhalsim - WR

P - So slow that you wouldn't believe he could be effective at wideout, however, the ability to teleport down field in a nanosecond makes Dhalsim a nightmare match up for Defences. When caught up in a block, Dhalsim will simply ignite his opponents with his 'yoga flame'. A constant scoring threat.

N - Tells the most awful jokes and tells them horribly slowly. What with that and the stenching breath, can often make you feel like your trapped in the elevator from hell should be unfortunate enough to ride one with him.

Most likely to be drafted by: The Detroit Lions. (He's a WR)

Chun-Li - CB

P - Has incredible speed of feet and as such can keep up with even the fastest receiver. A long pass down field will always be deflected with her 'spinning bird kick' which bats away balls without drawing calls for pass interference.

N - Can only play three games out of every four. Because, you know, they're played once a week...

Most likely to be drafted by: Nobody because she's a girl. Sexist bastards.

Zangief - G

P - Big and slow are perfect qualities for a guard these days and just what NFL teams are looking for. Laughs in the face of the blitz and simply spins roud with his arms extended to blast away any approaching defenders.

N - Really, really likes spinning people around in the air whilst sitting on their face. This experience is so horrific that it causes lasting damage to the victim.

Most likely to be drafted by: The Houston Texans. Instead of somebody outstanding.

Blogroll Driveby...

Some of the best from around the blogzone:

If you haven't already fallen for him, [Run up the score] would like to introduce you to your latest mancrush.

Apparently whilst the Mav's had a camera and a green screen there were a few decent bloopers to be had. [Girls gone Sports]

*sigh* How can one schrutebag offend so many people. By attacking The Big Lead and then going after Olbermann, that's how. [Awful Announcing]

Is hypersexuality really a classic side effect of bi-polar disorder? I don't buy it. [WBRS Sports Blog]

Brian Urlacher fined for drinking water. Oh, and wearing a cap. No, seriously...[Signal to Noise]

Want to know what it feels like to run a half-marathon? No? Well neither do I, so I'm happy to read about someone else doing it. [Ladies...]

And Finally...

[The Sports Dad] is finally back but he seems to think that watching the Champions League is better then watching the Superbowl. You see, that's what happens to you when you holiday in France.

Poland and Ukraine win Euro 2012

In a classic 'did he or didn't he moment' the Uefa official let the world know who had won by opening the envelope like so ->

Poland and Ukraine's joint bid to host the European Championships in 2012 was successful. They beat out widely favoured Italy for the chance to host the event.

Joint bids are all the rage these days since the success of the World Cup held in South Korea and Japan back in 2002. Now I don't know why Poland/Ukraine is a better prospect than Hungary/Croatia but that's what the judges went for, so that's what we're stuck with. What I'm concerned about is who's next? Greenland/Canada? Sudan/Yemen? Maybe we'll get a threeway bid; how does Mongolia/Papua New Guinea/Federated States of Micronesia sound?

Phhhbbt, 2012 is an Olympic year anyway, who cares about the European  Soccer Championships?

Does this mean LT is over-rated?

...or did he take legal action just to avoid it?

By now you may have already heard that Vince Young is reportedly going to be announced as the cover man for EA sports 'Madden 2008'. My two cents:

This is only a story because of the alleged 'Madden Curse'. If, among others, Marshall Faulk, Donovan Mcnabb, Daunte Culpepper, Michael Vick and Shaun Alexander hadn't all become injured the season after they were on the cover then I'm not typing this post right now.

But they did. So recurring was the curse that Chargers fans actually set up a petition against LT being chosen. It even has it's on page on Wikipedia. Which leads you to wonder whether they chose a guy who was young enough for it still to be a big deal. Did they initially go after LT (likely) or Peyton Manning (Unlikely) but fail to obtain the necessary rights to put them on the cover?

Has the alleged curse become so fearful that it now outweighs the honour/cool factor of featuring on the Madden cover? What do you think?

[Deadspin]

[Nashville City Paper]

Joe Rokocoko

When Mr. and Mrs Rokocoko were picking names for their unborn child, I'll bet they had two picked out right from the start. One for a boy and one for a girl; Joe and Jojo.

And who can blame them? When you've got a last name with that many 'o's in it, you might as well go the whole hog and push it as far as you can. In-fact they were probably pretty disappointed when their child turned out to be a son for precisley that reason.

That disappointment most likely faded though once Joe became one of the best wingers in the world. Like a lot of New Zealand's starting fifteen, Joe wasn't actually born in New Zealand but migrated there from Fiji at the age of five. His dad is said to have bought his first TV in 2003 just so he could see his son play in the world cup. Altogether now: aww...

He remains one of the four best wingers in the entire world... and all of them play for the All-Blacks. Here he is being awesome: (as always)

[youtube="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJWZ7gL0LGU"]

How to Stay Single:

The scary thing is that this stuff has a market. Guaranteed celibacy is only a couple hundred bucks away!

I'm pretty sure the only time you'll hear a dude talking about a possible change to his pelmet, is right after he's seen this picture.
I mean, curtains for Pete's sake? CURTAINS?!

And how comes there's no lamp to go with the matching linen? I don't get it...

And yet, despite the stigma, I look at that picture and my mind starts ticking over. 'I wonder if they do they make that for a double' it says and , 'hey, I have laminate flooring as well! ok, it's in my living room but I can work with that'

And I suppose there are always a few chicks out there who really dig the Phins aren't there? And the cheerleaders would love it wouldn't they?

Maybe it's not such a bad idea after all...

[Miami Dolphins]

Massa on Pole. Position that is...

Felipe Massa set himself up for another fall yesterday when he claimed first place with another excellent qualifying session. Lets just hope he doesn't get over exuberant again and end up dropping down the field faster then a mid season Terrel Owens.

Perhaps even more impressive yesterday, was Lewis Hamilton's performance, edging out not only his own teammate, the 'Almost Average' Alonso, but also the second Ferrari of 'Robot' Raikkonen.

I'm not a commie or anything, but the scarlet red of Ferrari flows in my veins and as much as I like Lewis Hamilton and see him as the future star of the sport, I just can't bring myself to support him. Until we see him in a Ferrari that is, but he's been under the McClaren wing since he was in Junior Karting, so I can't see that one coming around.

It should be a good race anyway, I've got everything crossed that Massa can win this one.

Update:- Massa did indeed win the Bahrain Grand Prix in a race that was posibly the most void in entertainment value of all time. Seriously, it doesn't even warrant a full post. The race, quite literally, started how it finished; 1st: Massa (Ferrari) 2nd: Hamilton (McClaren) 3rd: Robot-man (Ferrari). I'm glad for Ferrari, but not for the sport.

Silver Birch wins Grand National 2007

Another Irish winner of the Grand National this year. And one that I never saw coming I have to admit. Nope, my horse managed to fall at the very first hurdle which felt a bit like going up to accept an Oscar and realising too late that you've forgotten your pants.

The big story this year though, has to be the fourth place finnisher Philsons Run who went off at 100-1 and has just made anyone who had him each-way (ya see, I did get something right) very wealthy indeed.

It was a pretty fantastic raise in all and there was a worthy winner, what more can you ask for? Better tips from me? Well yeah, you could ask for that I suppose, but come on I already gave you the winner of the Superbowl and the World Figure Skating Champs didn't I? What more do you want?

And if you're feeling down about your horse losing, spare a thought for the poor schmuck who put down 20 grand on sports index that at-least sixteen of the forty horses would finish the race. The final count was thirteen.

Ouch!

It Killed my Email but it was Still Awesome

The Sports Bloggers Mock Draft is well and truly underway. I can't tell you who I picked yet ('cause AA said so!) but I can tell you that I made an awesome choice and everyone was in awe of my amazing war room capabilities. Noitch.

If you believe that then you'll believe anything, but on Monday the 23rd April you can judge for yourself.

Thanks to AA for organising this, it was a lot of fun for us and a lot of pain for him. [Awful Announcing]

Grand National 2007: A Gamblers Guide Part 2

Now for the ones I do like:

Point Barrow and Clan Royal are the two horses that I'm most interested in. The GN is all about stamina, if your horse has stamina then it stands a good shot at the title. Point Barrow is all about stamina, which he proved beyond a doubt at the Irish National. At 10-1 he is a fantastic bet and one that I may well be taking.

Then there's Clan Royal. this is a horse that has been hyped every year to ridiculous proportions and has disappointed every time. I've never bought into Clan Royal before but this year, with odds slipping further and further and a complete absense of hype, I'm starting to get a niggling feeling...

Now I want you to understand, there is no logic to picking Clan Royal he's got age and past form against him, but I'm a Gambler; I am perfectly willing to risk it all on 'guts and feel'. Back in 2004 there was an old horse called 'Amberleigh House' in the field which tipsters the world over proclaimed as 'too old' and 'shouldn't be given anymore runs at this course'. But I had a feeling about him. I can't explain it, it was just there. that year I bet on him at 11-1 and made a killing when he won.

And I've got that same feeling right now over Clan Royal. It defies logic, but he is definately my 'Shot to Nothing' bet.

Other good horses include: Dun Doire, Jack high and Livingstone Bramble but again, I wouldn't bet on any of those horses on the nose. If you want to be a winner this weekend,place your bet each way.

Oh and btw, if I haven't mentioned a horse then it's for a very good reason. That old nag isn't going off at 100-1 for nothing you know...

Grand National 2007: A Gamblers Guide

The biggest horse race in the entire world  is run tomorrow, with forty horses jumping over thirty fences on their way around a four mile and four furlong course. It is the most gambled on race in the horse world calender, believe it or not.

They say that picking a winner for this race is a once in a lifetime thing. That must make me one hell of alucky dude, 'cause I had the winner two years back to back in '04,'05 and the horse I had last year came second. So, either I'm extremely lucky, extremely savy or extremely living more then one life at a time. Either way, after two wins back to back followed by a second place, you should listen to what I have to say before putting your hard earned cash down on that three legged donkey...

Vein much?

Kiss my sexy ass, here's the preview:

You don't want to be betting on the nose in the Grand National. There are forty horses out there and approximately twenty of them have a decent sho, so you're far better off going each way. That way you'll win if your horse finnishes in the top four, which, if you pick the right one and he doesn't fall to one of the gruesome fences at Aintree, then you're in with a great shot at the money.

Unfortunately I failed to take my own advice last year and I went for Hedgehunter on the nose. And he finnished second. If I had him each way I would have won a ton of money but instead I was over confident from my back to back wins and I went home with a 'big fat brick'. This year I'm eating humble pie and going each way again, it's the smart thing to do.

So who should you take that gamble with this year? Well, first here are three horses that look good but that you should avoid:

Stay away from the favorite Joes Edge. That's right I said stay way from the favorite. This horse was 50-1 at the beginning of the week and just barely scraped a place in the race itself. He's become the favorite because of rampant speculation over his win in the Scottish National and his trainers ridiculous hype. The punters have flooded the market with money for him but IMO he doesn't have what it takes to get around the course.

Hedgehunter is my favorite horse in the world. He has won me a lot of money over the years including his win in this race back in 2005. There is not a better jumper in the line-up and no other horse can compete with his stamina... BUT, this isn't his year. He is the heaviest Horse in the field and is heavier than the heaviest horse to have won the GN. He's also getting a bit old for all this; a lovely horse, but not a winner this year.

Numbersixvalverde was last years winner and looks in pretty good shape this year. His jockey has swaggered about a lot this week talking about how his horse 'can be the first horse since Red Rum to win back to back' GN's. That's nice rhetoric, but Numbersixvalverde is NOT Red Rum and in fact, isn't even as good as Hedgehunter was in his prime. And Hedgehunter could only manage a 1st-2nd. Despite that, this horse is a good each way bet, but I can't see him winning.

to be cont'd...

Miami Dolphins Schedule 2007. *Awesome!*

Yesterday was schedule day and if you're a long suffering Dolphins fan like me then things may well be looking up:

Week

1 - @Redskins                                  10- Bills

2 - Cowboys                                      11- @ Eagles

3 - @Jets                                           12- @ Steelers

4 - Raiders                                         13- Jets

5 - @ Texans                                     14- @ Bills

6 - @ Browns                                     15- Ravens

7 - Patriots                                         16- @ Patriots

8 - Giants (In London, UK)             17- Bengals

9 - BYE WEEK

Yes, I meant the schedule, not the cheerleader.Looking at it, I'm thinking that there are ten games on there that we really should win and if we do then that means the playoffs (hopefully). Perhaps I'm being crazy optimistic here, especially with the draft still to come etc., but I'm liking that schedule. I'm liking it a lot.

Blogroll Driveby

Some of the current best from around the intrawebs:

[Deadspin] sums up Bledsoe's retirement perfectly; It makes you feel old.

Nobody does a preview better then twins. Here he takes a look at the NBA Eastern Conference playoff race. [Complete Sports]

Is Bonds to blame for this sad state of affairs? [WBRS Sports Blog]

[Awful Announcing] had a fantastic idea for a mock draft. AND he invited yours truly to get involved (so really he had two great ideas...). That makes him Shot to Nothing's 'Man of the Month'!

Is Tom Glavine feeling his age the cold? [Babes Love Baseball]

And Finally...

[The Big Lead] is back (!) with a little NBA action for us.

Drew Bledsoe Retires

Well, at-least there's one QB we can definitely cross off the Dolphins QB speculation blognanza.

Sillyness aside though, I think I'm gonna miss Drew Bledsoe. I kinda feel like he was the 'nearly' guy; always in the wrong place at the wrong time and beaten out but a young and overrated gunslinger (well in Losman and Romo's case anyway). Watching him in interviews and the like, I just got the feeling that he was a pretty ok dude. The kind of guy you could share a couple a' beers with, if you like.

Anyway, heres a quick video of Bledsoe doing what he did best. Thanks for the memories.

Aaron Ross wants to stay in Texas. But only if he gets to be a Cowboy.

I was reading an article on Sanya Richards, the 400m track Superstar and fiance to Ross, in The Times yesterday when this little tidbit caught my eye.

"Aaron Ross is a top-ten pick for the NFL draft which, insiders say, should guarantee him at least $25 million when he signs for a professional team this month — the Dallas Cowboys he hopes."

Reading that quote there are two questions that immediately spring to mind:

1) Is Aaron Ross really a Top-Ten pick? No - Ross has not made the top-ten in any of the seven mock drafts written up by the guys over on nfldraftforecast.com and has also missed out on a top-ten spot in Don Banks' mock draft over on SI. And he sure as heck ain't in my top-ten either, so where the heck are 'The Times' getting their information from? Do they know something we don't?

2) If Ross has his heart set on staying in Texas, and the media think he can make the top -ten, then why is he hoping to be picked by the Cowboys down at number 22 and not the Texans at number 8? I think we all know the answer to that question.

What does it say about your franchise if a player who's hoping to live in your state, is also willing to take a huge drop in potential pay just to play for the *other* team?

[The Times]

[NFL Draft Forecast]

[SI]

In Case You Missed It...

The Ladies... have taken over KSK today after winning their March Madness wager. I kind of thought it might be anti-climactical but the Ladies... have come through in superb fashion with their 'Top Gun Draft'.

Sheer genius on their behalf, strike one up for the for the fairer sex.

Things to do when you Retire from Sports: Broadcasting, Coaching, Crime...

So, what's a digraced former 100m World Record holder to do after he's cuaght cheating and banned from the track?

Well Tim Montgomery appears to have decided that the multi-million dollar bank fraud and money laundering game is the way forward.

Yesterday Montgomery pleaded guilty to charges in relation to an alleged conspiracy to deposit $5 million in stolen, altered or counterfeit cheques into several different banks over a three year period. He could now face up to four years in jail and will be sentenced in November.

I guess that quickness of feet is not always matched by speed of wit. Twelve others, including Montgomerys coach, were also charged along with him. First the Balco drugs fiasco and now this, there must be an NFL team interested in him by now surely...

'Sprinter Pleads Guilty to Fraud' [BBC Sport]

It's the Heat that Drives them Crazy

There were not one, not two but three professional athletes arrested down in South Beach, Florida last night. But only one of them really deserves a full comment.

That one is none other than Florida Panthers *star* Ville Peltonen who was the first of the three to be arrested. The 33 year old Fin was arrested and charged with criminal mischief after he was seen using a metal pole to smash up the passenger side of a Fire-Rescue Truck. But wait, this gets even better: (From the Miami Herald)

"The report does not indicate a motive, but it did say he was smiling the entire time."

Now doesn't that just take the biscuit? Not only was he bashing away on a Miami Beach Fire Department vehicle but he was thoroughly enjoying himself too. The only reasoning I can take from this is that this was some deep seated revenge attack, spurred on by a horrible childhood memory and fueled by alcohol.

Man, that mental image of Mr. Peltonen bashing ten types of shit out of a fire truck, alone on South Beach at 1 am and with a fucking great grin on his face will keep me in stitches for many years to come. Thanks Ville, comedy moment of the year so far.

The other two sportsman/yahoos were Peltonen's teammate Ed Belfour who was charged with disorderly intoxication and the Heat's James Posey who was jailed on a DUI charge. But neither of them had a grin on their face so they don't get the full write up.

Boring Man wins Boring Tournament

When The Masters is won by a dude with a score of +1 you might be excused for feeling like you've been robbed.

Zach Johnson came through the field on a 'dramatic' final day to win the prestigious green jacket. During the pre-presentation interviews you could feel the atmosphere of disappointment coming from not only the Club Chairman but from the announcers as well.

It's all very well making the course as hard as they did this year, but if you make the greens too unpredictable then, a bit like a badly structured game of poker, you turn the damn thing into a crapshoot. I think Retief Goosen summed it up when he said "Zach has been a very good player for a long time" read: Zach is a nobody, "He hits the ball straight, low and accurately - that's what you need around here" (you don't say...) read: Look I told you, this guy is a nobody and I don't know anything about him, just leave me alone!

My favorite moment of the whole tournament cam when Luke Donald, who at the time was only one shot down from the leader, chipped the ball up onto the green three times only to see it role back down the slope towards him, along with his chance to win.

Quote of the week:
"Somewhere along the way he got it inot another gear. If he's not Superman, who is he? Supermans brother maybe." - Vaughn Taylor

Sometimes this shit just writes itself.

Global Update

Damn, The Masters is hard this year. After the cut there's only three guys above even! The leader-board looks like so:

B Wetterich -2
T Clark SA -2
V Taylor -1
J Kelly even
V Singh Fij even
Z Johnson even
J Rose Eng even
D Howell Eng +1
L Glover +1
P Harrington Ire +1

Tiger Woods ain't lookin' so hot at +3 but I don't think he should be too worried, he's only five shots off the leader and also... well, because he's Tiger Woods.

In College Baseball the Gators managed to blow my theory about them hotting up by losing 12-2 to South Carolina. Ah well, it was fun while it lasted....

Felipe Massa (Ferrari) has claimed pole position for the Malaysian Grand Prix (Formula 1) tomorrow. Kimi 'X-nay on the personality-ay' Raikonnen got bumped down to third by Fernando Alonso (Renault) which is great news, because Kimi Raikonnen is the only person in the entire world who can make the worlds fastest Ferrari look boring.

Let's see, what else...

Oh yeah, Track Athlete Christine Ohuruogu is said to be 'stunned' by the loss of her appeal against a 12-month doping ban. Well Christine, that's kinda what happens when you decide to skip a load of drugs tests, it's the same for everybody.

More importantly than this other crap is news that Ricky Williams has officially applied for reinstatement to the NFL. The Dolphins management say they won't comment because Ricky hasn't been reinstated yet. Doesn't that sound like a big old 'Not Interested' resonating from the Phish heads?

Finally, Kentucky have finally found someone to coach their basketball team next year. That man is Billy Gillespie and he doesn't think there's that much work to do in fixing th UK team. Hmm, yeah, good luck with that Billy.

That's it, you're all updated, I hope you're happy. Have a great Easter and don't eat too much eat as much damned chocolate as you can handle. What do I care, it's not my body... you fat bastard.

What are the Gators Putting in their Water?

AKA can the Gators make it three?

At the beginning of the season the Gators baseball unit were ranked No.22 and looked like the poor brother to Florida State's No.1. Any chance of them taking down a third national title looked pretty slim.

But with sports writers and bloggers around the globe all collectively echoing the same three letters (WTF?), the Gators destroyed FSU, took the lead in the SEC Eastern and are now on the end of an eight game winning streak.

Over Easter the Gators will face the No.4 South Carolina Gamecocks who have won six of the last seven series against UF and this could well be the true indicator of just how good they are. If they do win this series, as they did in 2005 eventually going on to finish runner up in the College World Series, the entire college baseball world is going to start quaking in their caps.

So is it something in the Water down in Gatorville? Or is it the adrenalin soaring sounds of Whitney Houston being played through the PA during practice?

'Ohh, I wanna dance with somebody...'

Now that's enough to get any dude pumped up right?

Blogroll Driveby

All the best from the Sport Blogs I love to read:

It's decision time over at [Complete Sports]. Should they stay or should they go?

And while your choosing, here's another one for ya. Who are you taking in the Masters? Tiger Woods or the rest of the field? [WBRS Sports Blog]

The L.A. Dodgers will be wearing the number 42 made famous by the Brooklyn Dodgers [Signal to Noise]

[One More Dying Quail] points out that the Red Sox third baseman did not have a great night out.

[The Hater Nation] thinks they should go ahead and just ban Tiger Woods altogether. A little extreme perhaps? Maybe not...

And Finally...

As if there weren't already enough slants on the Masters already, here's one you definitely haven't seen. [Ladies...]

The only time of the year I'll watch Golf.

Well, I'll have it on in the background anyway... I won't actually watch the damn thing.

Golf? Nope it sucks. BUT...

There's this little tournament they have around about this time every year in a little place called Augusta. You may have heard of it; it's called the US Masters, and it's awesome.

It could be the tradition or the history or perhaps even the top class Golfing action that draws so many people like me into watching it having it on in the background every year, but I think it's much more likely to be the scenery. I'm pretty sure that the Augusta National Golf Club has the only Golf course in the world that I'd actually like to live on. I mean like, if they built a 'Polaris World' on it or something.

Ok, that's a stretch but crazier shit has happened (like me watching Golf for the scenery for instance) and even if they don't build a damn resort around the eighteen holes, it still looks pretty fucking amazing doesn't it?

Perhaps I could move in under that bridge and demand a toll...

'Payup Tiger, I know you're good for it. Hey put that nine iron down!'

Quick Question...

Last weekend three English clubs made it to the semi-finals of the toughest club competition in Rugby - The Heineken Cup. The Northampton Saints, The London Wasps and the Leicester Tigers all won through in tight phsyical contests to progress down to the final four.

All three of these teams are made up of predominently English players, which kind of makes you wonder... WTF England? You've got some of the best players in the world and yet you can't beat Wales? Seriously?

The All Black Haka

In the build up to the Rugby World Cup this September, I'm going to write a regular feature on why you should make time to watch this brilliant tournament.

This week (and reason numero uno) it's The Haka. You may have seen the haka performed by some amateur dumbasses at some point in your life, but New Zealand is where the Haka originates from. Essentially it is an old Maori war dance and it's been performed in front of opponents the world over by the 'All Blacks' (the New Zealand Rugby team) before every single match they've ever played.

I've seen it live a couple of times and it scared the shit out of me. And I was in the stands. It must be truly horrifying to be an opponent, standing only a few metres away and about to do battle with these guys.

Anyway here's a great clip that just about sums it all up.



Now, don't you want to see that again? Well the All-blacks will be doing it in every game they're in during the World Cup. There you see, are you tempted now?

Almost Football League

Watching 'Arena Football' is kinda like lashing the spear to your moms' lingerie catalogue; There are a couple of nice pics in there but it just doesn't deliver enough of a buzz to get you off. Not that I've ever... you know...

Despite that I found myself watching the Chicago Rush annihilating the Los Angeles Avengers yesterday. I lost count of the number of times the announcer's repeated that in order to win in Arena Football you need to score every time you have the ball. The only reason I take issue with that, putting aside the fact that they said it approximately 100 billion times, is because they made it sound like scoring is a really hard thing to do in the AFL.

I mean, come on, the damned fields' only 50 yards long, you start around the 15 and its all played indoors for petes' sake. Its hard to see how you manage not to score at least a field goal every drive. Although L.A. managed it nicely yesterday. A lot.

I don't want to rip the afl too much though, atleast they're trying to give us something football esque throughout the long dry months, we can't fault them for that.

The final score was 66 - 31 to the Rush if you're interested. Oh, and btw, the AFL is where I draw the line. I am not, repeat not, going to start watching Lacrosse.