Tried and Tested. (and falied btw, Mark)

Mark Cuban has to be a sucker for punishment. I mean really, we all know that we would love more pro football, but nothing will ever compete with the NFL. You can call it whatever you want Mark; "Hey, pick a letter that isn't N" "How 'bout U" "UFL baby! U.F.L!" ...It's not going to work.

But instead of straight up dissin' you Mr. Cuban, allow me to proffer a new sporting direction for you to throw your money at. Recently the head of US Rugby Nigel Melville, set out his vision of a U.S. Rugby Union League. Now there is something that could work.

Every year after the Superbowl, when I'm all hopped up on a whole season of aggression and excitement, I turn to Rugby to tide me over until the next football season. Rugby fills the void left by the close season perfectly; It's tough, fast paced, dynamic and is similar to Football in many unexpected ways (more on that in a later post). There are 15,000 college football players who never make it to the NFL and believe me, the cross over from football to rugby is an easy one to make (It's basically the same skill set).

This could be the perfect alternative, not only for you Mark Cuban, but also for all of us meat eating football junkies. Heck, call it the NRL if you want, but a U.S. Rugby league whose season starts around mid-February would be a fantastic addition to the sporting calender.


[Deadspin]

[Scrum.com]

Blogroll Driveby...

Some of the best from around the Blogzone...

I'm pretty sure if I had to choose between Jose Reyes and Hanlez Ramirez, I would take Reyes but twins does make a fairly decent argument for Ramirez in this weeks Thursaday Debate. [Complete Sports]

Sometimes it's hard to remember that Lebron is still only 22. Handling the pressure he does and in the way he does it... awesome is the only word. [The Extrapolater]

Incase you missed it (and you may as-well had) the Spurs won the West. [The Big Lead]

So after a great start the Brewers have now lost 14 of their last 19 games. What. The. Heck? [Babes Love Baseball]

Three words - It'll Never Work. Yes people want more football, but it's more good football they want. [Sports Couch Potato]

I'm sure he's a very attractive dude, but DAmnn, Grady Sizemore is one cheesy mofo. Even his name is corny...[Ladies...]

And Finally...

It has to be said that [Mr. Irrelevant] (Jamie Mottram) and the picture of sexiness himself, Dan Steinberg ([DC SportsBog]) are doing an incredible job with 'The Blog Show'. If you haven't seen it yet then you need to check out all ten episodes (so far) ASAP.

Liverpool Go After Snoogy Doogy

Liverpool chairman George Gillett is so impressed with his club's manager, Rafa Benitez, that he has openly delcared his support for any attempted signing that Benitez makes. At the same time he showed how in touch with the youth he is by (nearly) name dropping a well known rapper:

"If Rafa said he wanted to buy 'Snoogy Doogy', we would back him."

I'm not sure how Snoogy feels about this offer, but I'm sure if Snoop Dogg was offered a similar chance he would say something like:

"Liverpizzle? Fer Shizzle ma' bizzle..."

[4TheGame]

The First Rule of Cycle Club is: You Do Not Talk About Cycle Club...

What I want to know is, when did this guy think 'You know what? I reakon I can jump off that bridge on my bike and bounce off that barrier without horrendously injuring my nutsack...' I guess there was only one way to find out:

[youtube="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afM_DV9Xd7k"]

Come On Vince, put Dwain Chambers in the Game!

So you're the head coach of the Hamburg Sea Devils NFL Europe team. You're currently third in the league out of six teams and your team is looking decidedly average. You look at your roster and see that you have one of the fastest men in the world listed under WR. What do you do?

Well if you're Vince Martino, you completely ignore this incredible offensive weapon and leave him to languish on the sidelines for seven whole games. You convince yourself that this guy was signed because the fans would love him and because, being a former 100m sprinter, he would put bums on seats.

What was that line from 'Any Given Sunday'... Wasn't it something along the lines of "straight outta Tony's website - Badcoaching.com" Well maybe there should be a new website set up for Vince Martino; "LookingTheGiftHorseInTheMouth.com"

If you've got a guy in your team who can run the 100m in sub-ten seconds wouldn't you have given him at-least one or two plays in seven games? Wouldn't you have at-least tried him out on a kick return or a punt return or even a "go long Dwain, we're gonna run play-action and hoof one down to ya" ?!

What the heck is wrong with you Vince Martino? Are you hiding behind some asshole morals, like Chambers is the only track athlete to be caught taking drugs or something and 'damnit the NFL needs to be kept drug free!' Dwain has been clean for years now and are you going to tell me that there are cornerbacks and safeties in NFL Europa that can match the pace of one of the fastest men in the world?

Stop being a moron Vince, The Hamburg Sea Devils could really use a super fast receiver right now - put Dwain Chambers in the game.

[NFL Europe.com]

Re-defining Homefield Advantage

The governing body of soccer, Fifa have made an unprecedented move (unprecedented meaning that they actually did something) by banning the playing of any matches at altitudes above 2,500 metres/8,200 feet.

This is bound to disappoint several national teams like Ecuador (left) who managed to win all of their home World Cup 2006 Qualifying games, taking down such giants as Brazil and Argentina. It couldn't have hurt that those games were played in Quito which is at an altitude of just under 10,000 feet.

Whilst stating that they have made this decision for health reasons, Fifa have been labeled as discriminatory by Peru who were hoping to play their next World Cup Qualifiers at a similar altitude to Ecuador's. In 2007 Brazilian team Flamengo refused to play any more games at altitude after many of their players needed Oxygen tanks during a game against the Bolivian team Real Potosi which was played at 13,120 feet.

Personally I think this is a 'nip it in the bud' decision, in order to stop a new team like Nepal demanding their home games to be played halfway up Mt. Everest and ending up with an undefeated home record and a string of altitude related sporting incidents.

[BBC Sport]

The Monte Carlo Parade. Sorry, *Grand Prix*

I hate to say I told you so...

It seems that the Saturday qualifying sessions are going to be where all the entertainment value lies in Formula-1 this season. Once again the Sunday 'race' turned into a procession with the top three cars finishing in the way they started i.e. Alonso, Hamilton, Massa.

The Ferrari's struggled on this circuit with no place for their straight line speed to give them an advantage. And yeah, it didn't help that Kimi Robotkonen started in 16th place. He finnished in 12th. I guess he isn't 'The New Schumacher' afterall; as I remember it, Michael started around 16-20th once and finished on the podium despite his car bursting into flames half-way round. Now that's a race driver right there.

The only good news to come from this weekend is the fact that rookie Lewis Hamilton is still joint leader in the World Championship after coming second. The leaderboard looks like so:

1 Fernando Alonso McLaren-Mercedes 38
2 Lewis Hamilton McLaren-Mercedes 38
3 Felipe Massa Ferrari 33
4 Kimi Raikkonen Ferrari 23
5 Nick Heidfeld BMW Sauber 18

Apparently there was some other big race this weekend happening somewhere in Indianapolis, but I have absolutely zero time for cars that go round in perfect circles and call it racing. No sir.

[BBC Sport]

Alonso Enjoys Pole In Monte Carlo

Fernando Alonso has claimed Pole Position for tomorrows Monte Carlo Grand Prix with impressive team mate and rookie Lewis Hamilton taking second postion on the grid.

Ferrari had 'une secion horible' (That may not be the correct French, but I'm sure you get the picture) with Felipe Massa only managing P3 and Kimi Robotkonenen bemusing everyone by hitting a seemingly un-hittable barrier and ending up in 16th place. It would be fair to say that, at this point, it seems like Kimi never actually stopped driving for McClaren...

There appears to be a decent amount of support on the inter-tubes for rookie Lewis Hamilton and I have to admit, he has added a nice demension to the Formula-1 universe. But despite all the optimism of McClaren fans, Hamilton will not be winning this race tomorrow. Yes he has never been beaten on this circuit and won twice here in his Formula-3 days,BUT nobody has ever won the MonteCarlo Grand Prix in their first year of Formula-1. It is a race that requires a phenominal amountof skill and concentration and I doubt that Hamilton can do what Schumaker, Senna and Fangio all failed to do before him.

Next year perhaps...

Taking One For The Team

In the clip below Uconn's Josh Farkes shows us how it is possible to play Defense whilst being on Offense. I'm not sure how much Farkes knew about it but it brings a whole new meaning to the term 'The best Defense is a good Offense'.

[youtube="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WWE8HgD85U"]

Perhaps Notre Dame's Brett Lilley has something against him...

Blogroll Driveby...

Some of the best from around the Blogzone...

There's quite a touching (and not in the MJ sort of way) post over on [One More Dying Quail] that may have snuck under your radar. Rectify this immediately.

I don't know how twins keeps doin' it but here is yet another great Thursday Debate. This week he's looking at the DH. [Complete Sports]

Should Penn State be feeling welcome in the Big Ten yet? This question is answered in depth over on [Run Up The Score]

Ever wondered what the Top Ten stupidest things in sports were? Well, [Our Book Of Scrap] has the answer. (and all of you who just answered 'Shot To Nothing Sports Blog' can kiss my shiny ass)

Thought T3 was a movie? How wrong you were... Find out the truth over at [The Extrapolater]

This Michel Vick dog fighting story just won't die will it? Thankfully [WBRS Sports Blog] has a whole new way for us to take the 'Mick outta Vick'

Believe it or not Australia actually compiles an annual list of their most 'marketable' sports peeps. [Sports Agent Blog]

Oh dear, Roger Clemens. Need I say more? [Babes Love Baseball]

And finally...

The number one celebrity that KSK would most like to fight is pretty flipping excellent. Man, I really love that site. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

AC Milan 2 - Liverpool 1 - It wasn't a draw!

The result that everybody expected came good last night as AC Milan finally got revenge for their loss to Liverpool two years ago on penalties. Credit to Liverpool for going toe to toe with them and actually playing some decent attacking soccer, but in the end the best team won.

And they did it in style too. Italian teams aren't generally known for their attacking play but Milan's sheer class showed through last night as the awesome Pippo Inzaghi scored twice, once in each half. By the time Liverpool drew one back it was too late.

At the very least it was a watchable game, with fast attacking play from both sides. It doesn't change my views about soccer at all but it was nice to see a couple of teams who actually looked liked they cared whether they won or lost. And that is a scarce thing in top flight European soccer these days.

[BBC Sport]

Champions League 2007 - Are we set for another 'thrilling' penalty shootout?

Saying I'm not much of a soccer fan is a bit of an underexageration. The truth is that in non international matches, I would rather jam some rather unpleasent herbal pain inducers up my ass for an entire ninety minutes then watch the whole game.

And you know what? The Champions League Final isn't any different in the slightest. (Thought this post was going a different way didn't ya?)Read more »

The Trade That Is Definately Going To Happen. Sometime. Maybe.

For about a week or so now I've been feeling pretty suspicious about this whole Trent Green, Dolphins Trade.

Actually, that's an inaccuracy; I've felt a bit dubious about it since after round six of the draft. Since then there have been countless reports about the Dolphins holdout for Green and KC's refusal to budge, but the simple fact is that Trent Green is no closer to wearing the helmeted fish on his shirt then he was two months ago.

Are the Dolphins really all that bothered about acquiring Green?

Perhaps the recent alledged interest from the Falcons will force the issue in the next couple of days and perhaps it won't, but if the answer to that question is 'no' then what exactly does that mean for Miami? The way I see it, there are many more questions out there that haven't been asked or answered yet- Read more »

Things I Never Thought I'd Hear Myself Say No. 368: It May Be Time to Get Into Womens Golf.

Is it immoral to start watching a sport purely for the hotness of it's athletes? Or perhaps more importantly, do I care if it is?

I don't know how I failed to notice (actually it probably has something to do with her being a golfer...), but Natalie Gulbis is fizzzine yo. She appears to have that elusive quality in a female athlete; Hotness. And why do we love the few genuinely hot female (and male, if that's the way you swing) athletes? Because their muscle tone and athlecicity adds to their swoondom instead of taking away from it. Yeah, you know what I mean.

I would like to tell you about Gulbis's many golfing achievements, at the very least to try and avoid turning this into a sleaze post (too late!), but unfortunately there aren't that many. Think Kornikova rather than Sharapova. Perhaps that's an unfair comparison... I just don't watch enough LPGA Tour to know. But all that's about to change.

What I will say is that the Sacramento born Gulbis, who is of Latvian descent, has reached a few finals and looks to be on the up. Judging by this article on USA Today.com, Natalie seems to be a pretty cool chick too.

Shit, what else can you say about a Lady who's been judged 'too hot for Golf' by the USGA?

[USA Today]

[Natalie Gulbis Wiki]

[FHM Photo]

Romario Scores his 1000th Goal. (Maybe)

Brazilian Footballer and Legendary striker Romario has finally scored his 1000th goal. Despite being well past the average age of retirement (he is now 41), Romario was determined to keep playing untl he reached the elusive mark. Currently playing for CR Vasco de Gama, his 1000th goal was a penalty awarded whilst playing Sport Recife. There is a clip below.

Some sports writers and statititions claim that Romario has massaged the stats somewhat to included youth games, friendly's and testimonials and therefore his total is less than a thousand. Really though, if you're arguing over whether a guy has done something impressive 1000 times or 900-odd times, you should definately be getting out more. When was the last time you did something of note 900 times? And no, getting a boner does not count.

[youtube="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWC2ttsdIH4"]

[Romario Wiki]

There'll be No Stopping Him Now.

Roger Federer has climbed the last hurdle in his way to becoming the greatest player ever to pick up a Tennis Racket (and boy what an honor that is right?)

Admitedly it was only a best of three sets match in a relatively small tournament BUT Federer has beaten Nadal on Clay. The score was 2-6 6-2 6-0, which means either Nadal was not at his best or (uh-oh) Federer has stepped it up ANOTHER level. Did you feel that shudder going down your spine Tennis Fans?

Previous to this tournament 'R-Fed' had gone a whole four tournaments without a title. Ouch, he must have been really hurting. This also means Nadal's 81 clay court winning streak is at an end.

"It will be interesting to see how we both react in the French Open"

- Was Federers kneejerk robot response to the victory.  Well what were you expecting from him? Relief, ecstasy, emotion? Nah, this is Tennis people...

Picking Your Own Opponent May Not Be A Good Thing...

Because naturally, the team that Emirates Team New Zealand picked to face them in the semi's would have been feeling dissed and therefore would have been more likely to perform.

Which is what has happened... kinda. In short, The Italian team Luna Rossa Challenge are through to the final having beaten their opponents BMW Oracle Racing (USA) 5-1.

Emirates Team New Zealand have faced tough opposition in Desafio Espanol 2007 and though the score currently stands at 4-2 in NZ's favour, you should never count out the home team.  The racing resumes on Tuesday.

FA Cup Final: In Quotes

If you were lucky enough to miss the FA Cup final today, here are some quotes from the commentators (John Motson and Mark Lawrenson)who seemed to be reading my mind throughout the entire game.

"This is probably the most boring 20 minutes we've seen all season..." - 20 mins

"Sorry we're a bit quiet, it's just that there's nothing to talk about..." - 30 mins

"Perhaps the ref is saying to him 'Can we have a game of football please?'" - 34 mins

"Maybe the grass is too long and it's affecting the play..." - 42 mins

"Strange that Joe Cole has been taken off, he seemed to be the only player having any impact" 46 mins

"75 minutes in and it's still nil-nil..." 75 mins

"JM - Have those few moments of improvement now faded?

ML - Yes I think they have. The closer it gets to 90 minutes, the more the players seem to be going for extra time" - 80 mins

"I must say I think Steve Bennet (The Referee!) has had a good game..." - 85 mins

"Other then a brief spell in the second half, the rest of the game has been rather lathergic." 87 mins

"JM - One minute to go until extra time.

ML - (Sarcastic tone) Can't wait..." 91 mins

"It's been a bit grueling I have to say." 92 mins

"Any body bored yet?" end of 1st period of Extra Time.

They said it all. And if you haven't heard, Chelsea won 1-0 with a last minute of Extra Time toe-poke from Diddier Drogba. This was yet another exhibition of the death of soccer and the stadium was the only interesting thing about it.

FA Cup Final Non-Preview

This post may be another semi-rant. apologies for that.

If you cruise around the interwebs today and tomorrow you will find a ton of sports writers creaming themselves over this years 'epic' FA Cup final between Chelsea and Manchester United. I don't begrudge them of their excitement for what I find to be an insanely boring sport, everyone has their own fandom (shit, I like love figure skating for goodnessake) and that's fine by me.

What I do take issue with however, is the fact that not one sports writer in the papers, the tubes or the gogglebox will talk about the underlying problems with top class soccer.

In the last eleven years only four teams have won the FA Cup. To put that into perspective, last year there were 687 teams who entered the competition and it was closer to 700 this year. Do you even need me to tell you who the four winning teams are? Chelsea, ManUtd, Arsenal and Liverpool. Those are the only teams to have won the thing for the last eleven years despite nearly 700 teams taking part. And the reason for that is Money. Money talks in soccer these days and the Football Associations of the world have been too corrupted by it to put a stop to it.

The sports writers of the world can go on and on about the history of the Cup, the romance of it all and the shock defeats of the past, but the truth is a much more bland and sour-tasting story. The last two FA Cup finals have been decided by penalties and this year will be the twelfth year running that one of the four richest teams in Britain 'wins' the FA Cup. Is that what you want you're sport to be soccer fans? If so, I pity you.

'Green' Motorsport? That's a Joke Right?

Just as I start to get back into Formula-1, along comes the governing body with yet another idea to make the sport even more unwatchable.

Max Mosley (right) the head of the FIA is calling for a 'radical overhall' of Formula-1 and motorsports in general in order to make them more environmentally friendly. I guess this is the kind of thing you should expect from the son of a failed fascist leader.

Motorsport burns oil so that its participants can drive fast. Nobody wants to watch a bunch of guys driving around in solar powered sofas or ten mph bio-fuel clown cars.

I'm not against saving the earth and all that, I recycle, I turn down my heating and I avoid wasteful behaviour. When it comes to sport however, the last thing we need is a political fad affecting the way things are run so that one guy can feel good about himself. This is bullshit in the highest degree.

[BBC Sport]

David Beckham can Kiss this Guys Ass

Here's a quick clip from the Under-22's game between the mighty soccer nations of Japan and Hong Kong. I don't know who this guy is (if you do then please let me know), but that reverse swing is chock full of awesomeness.

There's a whole lot of Goal Keepers around the world who just choked on their cookies.

[youtube="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDbX8I202VU"]

Blogroll Driveby...

Some of the best from around the Blogzone...

[Signal To Noise] updates us on the NBA playoffs, which is good because I can rarely be bothered to. Bad Sanchez. Bad.

Finally the truth is out about the D-Rays organization. [Insomniacs Lounge]

This 'Thursday Debate' over on [Complete Sports] is worth a fair bit of heated discussion. I have my opinion on it, but what's yours?

We all need a good stiff one every now and then don't we? (And I'm not talking about a drink) [The Extrapolater]

[Just Call Me Juice] offers us some group therapy for the big games we could have been to but missed.

For some reason, the idea of Suzy Kolber covering Nascar, kinda freaks me out...[Awful Announcing]

And Finally...

Quinn gets married. No not the gay one, the other one. [Girls Gone Sports]

Gone In 5400 Seconds.

40,000 Tickets for the NFL 'International Series' game to be held in London this year sold in just 90 minutes.

Wembley stadium (left) has a capacity of 90,000 but only 40,000 seats were on offer in a special 'pre-sale' for registered members of NFLUK.

Back in February there were 500,000 ticket requests so I'm guessing there are going to be a lot of diasappointed Dolphins/Giants fans out there, but for the lucky few who will get to witness history there will probably be alot of hootin' and hollerin tonight.

Well that's a damned shame...

I have a friend who says he hates jazz music because "It makes my head go all flakey and I end up wanting to kick something."

And I have to admit that I felt much the same way last night. It would be fair to say that I've never really liked the Utah Jazz at all, which may be because they keep winning when I have money on the other guys or may be because I just can't stand their name - the Jazz. Either way it doesn't really matter, Utah are through and Golden State are over in what was a pretty surprising (at-least to me) 4-1 series.

In the headline that nobody outside of Chicago will be thinking about today, The Bulls have pulled it back to 3-2 with a 108-92 victory which saw Ben Gordon score 28 points and Luol Deng, who is British no less, score 20 points. Now you see, if Chicago were called the bulldogs, I would have an excellent newsline (British Bulldog blah blah), but they aren't so I'll just slip it in here quickly to show off my genius and then exit stage left before anyone notices.

[SI - Bulls - Jazz]

[Luol Deng wiki]

Bears Bring the Bucks

It still surprises me a little every year when I hear how long NFL teams take to sign their draft picks. It probably shouldn't, considering the agent driven sports world we live in, but it does.

Garrett Wolfe has become this years first rookie from the 2007 NFL draft to ink it up. He's looking at $2 million over four years with a $623,000 sweetner of a signing bonus. Man, when they hand that cheque over to you, you know, the one that you get just for signing your name, you must really feel like you've made it in this world. Good for him.
Running Back Wolfe was picked in the third round by Chicago with pick number 93. So that's half-a-mil for being picked in the third round... No I am not quite over this yet...

Oh, and if you haven't heard this yet, Devin Hester is going to play a bit of O next year which is a pretty weird decision for two reasons. One, because he's a corner back and I don't know that many corner backs with great hands and two, because doesn't that mean he won't be playing any Defence? He can't play both sides of the ball and do special teams and surely you wouldn't want him to stop returning kicks in favour of being an offensive decoy would you?

[NFL.com]

There's still *a* reason to watch Formula 1

Alright two, if you count the lovely group of ladies to your right ->

Below is an ad from British TV which features Lewis Hamilton, not only the most exciting young driver for many years but also, perhaps, the savior of the sport.

A brief bio on monsieur Hamilton: Lewis started racing when he was six. His father held down three jobs to support his son's ambition, but still managed to attend all his races, as he still does today. Despite not having reached puberty yet, Hamilton already had bigger balls than I have when, at age 11, Lewis approached Ron Dennis (CEO of McLaren Mercedes) and told him "I'm going to race for you one day... I'm going to race for McLaren".

At 13 Hamilton became the youngest driver ever to secure a Formula 1 contract. That's right, he had a professional racing contract when he was thirteen, what were you doing at that age? I remember watching skits on him six years ago and they were saying back then that he was incredibly talented. This year is his first in Formula 1 and at 22 he is the youngest driver ever to have finished in the top three at his first four races.

And boy do I wish he drove for Ferrari rather than their sworn rival... *sigh* Here's the ad:

[youtube="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v69sf1h1Q8w"]

[Lewis Hamilton - Wiki]

America's Cup Semi Final Update. Deal with it.

For some reason I find myself wondering what it would look like if there was a cut to Sylvester Stallone right now, hammering away at a punch bag and then turning to us and saying "Are you ready for some Sailing?!"

But perhaps that's just me... no matter, on with the update!

Remember me saying that Emirates Team New Zealand got to pick their opponent in the semi's? No? What do you mean no?! Didn't you read the last America's Cup post huh scumbag?!! Well anyway, they picked Desafio Espanol 2007 and was obviously the right choice as they've won the last two races, which gives them a 2-0 point lead in the race to five points.

The other Semi-final is more even at one race (and point) a piece. Apparently there was an awesome comeback by BMW Oracle Racing(USA) today to clinch the win over Lunar Rossa Challenge (ITA):

"The American team was 14 seconds behind at the beginning of the final run, but made a great pass down the left hand side of the race course, streaking past what appeared to be a slower Italian boat."

And you know what? It does actually sound kind of exciting doesn't it? Not actually worth watching sure, but exciting nonetheless. I'll keep you updated on how it plays out.

[32nd America's Cup OfficialWebsite]

Weighing In: This Ricky Business

Several sources, too numerous to name (or am I just lazy?) have reported on the Yoga Wookie's failed drugs test in April and consequential delay in re-entering the NFL. Being a Phin Fan, I thought it best to weigh in on this.

In Ricky's mind, what's left of it anyways, this is just another set-back. He can re-enter the League in September and everything will be just fine...

"When the time is right, God willing, I will be back on the field scoring touchdowns for whatever team is fortunate enough to believe in me."

But in the NFL's mind (and frankly in every football fans mind the world over), Ricky has just set fire to that last straw he was clutching. I can't understand the mentality of a guy who knows full well he's going to be tested when he appeals for reinstatement, and yet goes out and gets high anyways. The average time it takes for weed to clear your system is between 3-30 days, so that means Ricky was tokin' away in the full knowledge that a test was near at hand. What in the hizzzzzzeck was he thinking?

Read more »

Massa Wins but has Nada on Hamilton

Felipe Massa won the Spanish Grand Prix on Sunday, starting from pole position and leading from the front the whole way. I'm starting to think that Formula 1 is abusing the word 'racing'.

The only action of any note came right at the beginning when Alonso, being the good sport that he is, tried to force Massa's Ferrari off the road at the first corner. Fortunately he managed to lose control of his own car and ended up splashing into the gravel. He wasn't done there though, as the world looked on in disbelief he splayed his vehicle straight back on to the track and came a milimetre away from taking out his own team-mate Lewis Hamilton. Gee, that Alonso... what a guy!

Apart from that there was precisely Zero action in the Spanish Grand Prix. If it hadn't been for Kimi Robotkonen's Ferrari breaking down, the first three finishers would have been in the same order they were as they exited the first turn. Laps 65, Entertainment Nil.

The good news is that McLaren rookie Lewis Hamilton is now leading the Championship leaderboard. This is funny because Alonso (the current World Champion) is being thrashed every week by his rookie team-mate. And it's driving him crazy.

The current standings are like so:

1 Lewis Hamilton McLaren-Mercedes 30
2 Fernando Alonso McLaren-Mercedes 28
3 Felipe Massa Ferrari 27
4 Kimi Raikkonen Ferrari 22
5 Nick Heidfeld BMW Sauber 15

[International Tribune]

Global Update

As you can see by the picture to your right, the Leicester Tigers won the Guinness Rugby Union Premiership yesterday. and they did it in spectacular form, smashing Gloucester by 44-16. The best description of the Tigers performance came from one of the commentators who likened it to "Watching a tank being driven like a sports car"

This was the tigers third attempt at the Premiership title and having finally won it they are now on course to win the treble.

Btw, the whole Ricky Williams testing positive whilst trying to re-enter the NFL thing has not passed me by. It's just that my seething disbelieve at the mans stupidity is requiring me to right a full post on the matter at a later date.

Raphael Nadal has shown how outrageously good he is on clay by taking his 76th victory on the surface and simultaneously breaking John McEnroe's previous record for most wins on one surface. It's good to see someone with a bit of passion and character taking centre stage in the Tennis world. I like Federer as much as the next guy, but he's not all that exhilarating personality wise is he?

Incidentally, Federer has unexpectedly split from his coach, Tony Roche. Both sides say the decision was mutual - yeah, sure it was. I guess if you're Roger Federer you're probably wondering if there's anything left to learn about Tennis.

The Spanish Grand Prix is the next race in the Formula 1 Calender and takes place in just over an hour from now. Felipe Massa has once again claimed pole position with a fairly ridiculous last second charge. Being a Ferrari fan, I would love to love Massa, if only he would get through a damned race without screwing the pooch several times and gifting the victory to the opposition. Ragnamit.

Other then that, The Spurs are helping the Suns to set, the Yankees have a losing record and everybody is pretty impressed with the Warriors. But then you knew that already didn't you?

That's it for your Sunday Global update, take it easy y'all.

[BBC Sport]

[SI]

I'm not entirely sure driving around city streets at 200MPH in the dark is a great idea.

So it looks like there's going to be a formula 1 event taking place in Singapore next year.'Singapore?' you say, 'Does that tiny island even have the space for a race track?' Well, no. But it doesn't need one, they're just going to set up a good old fashioned Street Circuit.

Oh and they might choose to run the race in the dark. But don't worry, apparently there'll be lights. Gee, these guys really think of everything don't they? Here's an example of your typical Singaporean street:-

I'm assuming this isn't one of the one's they'll be using for the race. But maybe they should ya know, spice things up a little.

What I really love about this story though is the quotes. Firstly you have Bernie Ecclestone, owner and promoter of Formula 1:

"Singapore is going to be the leader with the street race at night - we're excited about the idea"

...followed quickly by Singapore's Minister of State for Trade and Industry Mr. Iswaran:

"Safety is of paramount concern to all of us,"

Yeah huh, I'm not convinced that the Singaporean government is 100% sold on this idea yet. But you know what? they should be. Every Formula 1 fan's favorite race is the one held every year in Monaco which, if you didn't know, is an uncompromisingly tiny street circuit. We love it because it tests the drivers' skills to the limits. Imagine how testing a circuit like that would be in the dark and that's the Singapore Grand Prix right there.

And as long as it's over there and not anywhere near my house, I guess I'm happy to see it happen.

[BBC Sport]

Leave it in the Preliminary.

Look, I'm a football guy ok, yeah sports is my number one passion in life, but Football has my heart.

And here comes the BUT... This whole seventeen games in the NFL regular season thing can kiss my ass. I know it's only being looked at in the preliminary stages, as the folks who run the show seem at pains to point out, but I think that's where it should stay.

Why would a Football lovin', Brady Hecklin', Cheerleader er... cheering, dude like me not want to see more football? It's simple really: If it ain't broke, don't try to fix it.

Yes the NFL should hold regular season games abroad and yes, it should reach out to the world, anything that grows and progresses the sport is a good thing, but that doesn't mean we need to fuck with the program. Sixteen games makes for a perfect, exciting, competitive season and sets up a thrilling playoff schedule and we should respect that and leave it the hell alone.

[NFL.com]

Blogroll Driveby...

- Some of the best from around the Blogzone:

It appears I may have been wrong about the Jazz maintaining the pace set by the Warriors. [Signal to Noise] lays it out for us with an interesting sideline.

Ehy, not every debate has to be about who's the best guy. [Complete sports]

After many requests AA is setting up the Douchebaggery scale. Yet another awesome idea from [Awful Announcing]

This is a little on the cheeky side but check out my Terrible Jersey Nominee over on [Just Call Me Juice] and, you know, check out the rest of the blog too.

Shaun alexander has a conversation with God. As you do. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

If you haven't seen it yet the [Ladies...] are running the 'Hot Bloggers Bracket'. This is a recipe for a bruised ego, but fun nonetheless.

And Finally...

[Babes Love Baseball] has one of the funniest photos so far this month.

CSI:NY to John McEnroe - "That Ball Was NOT On the Line"

Kudos once again goes to Michael David Smith of 'The Fanhouse' for this little beauty.

I'm not sure why the prospect of seeing John McEnroe acting in a 'CSI stylee' makes me smile, but it does and if you feel the same then the show airs tonight at 10.00pm (I believe) . I'm not a big CSI fan but I will at-least be tivo-ing this sucker.

[Michael David Smith on The Fanhouse]

It's all about Diversificationism.

When I first set out to start this sports blog, the one thing I wanted to do was to provide a comprehensive coverage of several sports. I wanted to update people on events and tournaments that they knew were going on all around them but were too lazy couldn't quite bring themselves to look in on. So in case you were wondering why I bothered with posts about Netball and Snooker etc well, now you know.

And it's with this in mind that I now bring you an America's Cup Sailing post. Yes, I really am going there.

Now listen up, the Semi-finals of this prestigious event will start on Monday in Valencia , Spain and will feature a fairly bizarre set up. After a load of round-robins, Team Emirates New Zealand find themselves on top of the leaderboard which means they get to pick who they face in the Semi's.

Let's think about that for a second... If we were talking about Football here, who do you think the Bears and the Colts would have picked in last years playoffs if they'd been given the opportunity? I can't even begin to imagine it, can you?

Anyhoo, the other Semmi-Finalists are BMW ORACLE Racing, Luna Rossa Challenge, and Desafío Español 2007, which confuses the heck outta me 'cause are they competing as countries or teams or companies or wtf?

These teams will now compete in a series of 'head to head' matches with a single point awarded to the victor in each race. The first to five points (i.e. five wins. And shit, wouldn't it have been easier to just say 'alright the first team to win five races goes through'?) will progress to the final.

All of this would be pretty cool really if it wasn't, you know, sailing. I'll keep you updated on how it goes down. You're thrilled I know.

[Official 32nd Americas Cup Website]

TRANSCRIPT: Peyton Manning's Conversation with the Queen

- This transcript was alledgedly taken during a breif conversation between Her Royal Highness Queen Elizabeth the Second and His Righteuous Under Centreness Peyton Manning...

(Manning bows)

Peyton: Good evenin' your highness.

Queen: That's Royal Highness to you, donkey face.

Peyton: Er...

Queen: HA! Beg ones pardon, one was just jousting withst thou.

Peyton: Oh uh, hehe, very funny your Hi-er-Royal Highness. Did you happen to catch the Supebowl this year?

Queen: Catch it? One was up all night hitting fortys withst ones homies! One never misses a good game of rugger...

Peyton: Rug-ga? Oh, do ya mean Rugby? 'Cause that's not what we play ma'am, it's Football.

Read more »

The Sheriff of Scotland Ousts The Comeback Kid.

Like a scene from the old west, the stage was set for the final showdown. The crowd held their collective breath as the old sheriff and the new kid in town entered the arena. But this was no smokey wild west whiskey house, this was the Crucible Theatre Sheffield, the home of Snooker and the ultimate destination for every aspiring cue master.

The stage for the World Snooker Championship Final 2007 was set.

John Higgins, the wily old Sheriff, had been here before and knew of the pressure wrought on the players by the bright lights and the millions of spectators worldwide. His experience showed as he made a remarkable start to the final and would head into the final day at a seemingly unassailable 12-4 frame lead.

But the match was far from over. Mark Selby, who had already established his reputation as 'the comeback kid' in the earlier rounds of the tournament, knew that Higgins only needed 6 more frames to clinch victory. He was determined not to let that happen, winning an incredible six frames in a row to force a final session later on in the evening.

Selby showed superb class as he narrowed Higgins' lead to one solitary frame. The score was 14-13 and the crowd moved to the edge of their seats.

That was to be the last frame Selby would win however, the old sheriff had had enough of this young punk and finished him off for good by winning the next four frames on the trot.

The Match was over and John Higgins was the World Champion once again. But the crowd knew,as I did, that we haven't heard the last from Mark Selby. He is 'The Comeback Kid' afterall...

The World Black Pudding Throwing Championships. Well, you wouldn't want to eat the damned thing...

What do you do when you're bored and faced with an unappetizing meal? Why you create a whole new sport of-course!

Black pudding is basically a blood filled sausage. No really, you take sheep or cattle blood and cook that shit with filler until it congeals. Then you put it all into a nasty looking sausage/turd shaped thing and then either eat it or, well... chuck it I guess.

As weird sports go, this one is about as out there as it gets. I have no idea of how or why this event started, but I can only imagine a tourist up in Blackpool went to tuck into what he thought was a delicious sausage and ended up choking and throwing the fucking thing accross the room. Que Johnny Northerner "Eey by gumm, that's no way to throw a black puddin' pet, I say that's no way to throw a black puddin'!"

My word, what a fucked up race us humans are.

[World Black Pudding Throwing Championships]

Global Update: Stoner Wins in Shanghai!

This is a terrible thing to say but Motorcycle racing's entertainment value is solely based in it's ridiculous high speed crashes. Go on admit it, last time you were watching Moto GP you were just waiting, hoping even, for that one alimghty bodge up that sends the bike and the dude sailing through the air!

However, this weekend the whole sport got a massive boost in the entertainment stakes when a guy called Casey Stoner won some big race out in China. From now on the possibilities are endless; imagine the headlines: "Stoner Is The Champion!", "Stoner Breaks Speed Records!" and maybe even "Stoner Impregnates Multiple Girlfirends!" I'm keeping my eye on this one, for sure.

The final of the World Snooker Championship starts today with John Higgins going up against Mark Selby. Carrying on with the Stoner theme to this post, have you seen Mark Selby?! (that's him on the left). The dude looks like the living dead...

I was a little disappointed when The Thrill (Stephen Maguire) lost to John Higgins, but at least the unseeded Selby won through against Mr. Potato Head to keep me interested in the final. Well... kind of interested. Alright, not really interested but, you know, 'Go Selby!' and all that.

In more interesting (?) news, Floyd Mayweather Jr. won his Big Fight against Oscar De La Hoya after a 12 round split decision. I know there's a safety aspect and all, but 12 round split decisions are not all that exciting to me. Sorry, they're just not.

A Horse called Street Sense has won the Kentucky Derby. He is apparently the first horse of a certain type to win the race since another horse of his certain type won it. The real story here is, how comes every win in horse racing now has to be some sort of record? Can't it just be a big deal that you won one of the most prestigious events on the sporting calender?

Anything else.... let's see...

Oh yeah, Army Played Navy yesterday in their traditional annual Rugby Union match that has taken place since 1878. It was the usual aggressive affair with more and more fights breaking out as the game wore on. Army eventually took the victory with a 37-25 score line, but they did have a resnefulous amount of help from the referee who allowed two Army trys that simply were not lawful in the slightest. But there you go.

Back in the real world of Rugby, Gloucester and Leicester both won their respective semi-final playoff games and will meet each other to decide who takes the title later this month.

That's it, you're all updated. Get the hell outta here biatch.

[BBC Sport]

[SI.com]

You Can Keep Brady Quinn.

Yes sir, I think I'm going to be very happy with John Beck under centre. Very Happy indeed.

[youtube="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCgH6sTEeP8"]

Blogroll Driveby...

Some of the best from around the Blogzone...

Twins makes an excellent case for Bert Blyleven to be up for the HOF. But do you agree with him? [Complete Sports]

[Signal to Noise] shocked the heck out of me with this post. If this is true, it might just make me sick. But out my nose, 'cause I'll be laughing at the same time.

'The Mom Maker' gives us yet another reason to laugh at him. And hail abuse too, don't forget that. [Awful Announcing]

This is another of those weird sports match-ups that is strange and yet enticing at the same time. [Deadspin]

If Cristiano Ronaldo is actually hot I may have to kill myself. Like, today. [Ladies]

And Finally...

The fact that he doesn't score makes it even funnier [Just Call Me Juice]

Snooker World Champs: Final Four

The Semi-final match-ups are as follows:

John Higgins (Sco) vs The Thrill (Sco)

Shaun Murphy (Eng) vs Mark Selby (Eng)

So it looks like it's going to be an England-Scotland final which is not as interesting as it sounds. It's good to see three seeded players make the Final Four (Selby is the only unseeded guy) especially after last years fiasco/borefest of a tournament.

My pick for the final is The Thrill vs. Mark Selby, but whoever wins (unless it's Mr Potato Head Sean Murphy) they will be a thoroughly deserving World Champion.

Troublesome Vick Cut. No, not that Vick.

Marcus Vick's one year stop over in the NFL before heading into obscurity is over.

He was cut on Tuesday along with two other players DT Manny Wright, (who may or may not have been sobbing) and the intriugingly named LB Bobby Iwuchukwu (say that three times fast).

In December 2006, the former Viginia Tech liability quarterback was sued for approximately $6.3 million for a variety of charges including 'sexual battery' and 'fraud' but not 'being too crap to make it in the NFL'.

I 'd love to say he's going to be missed... actually, I wouldn't even like to say that.

[Orlando Sentinel]

Liverpool Score! In German!!

Liverpool clearly have some weird juju shit going on over Chelsea when it comes to the champions league. This is funny for so many reasons, but the main one is that Roman Abramovich has been throwing bucket loads of cash at his team for years now in a desperate bid to buy the champions League title. If it weren't for Liverpool, they would have won it at-least twice already...

Anyway, this video is a little misty, but it's great because the commentary is in German. Seriously, if all soccer announcing was done in German, I might actually watch more games. At-least then there would be an element of entertainment to the affair.

[youtube="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfKFIoVuc0I"]

Road to the Semi-Finals: Snooker World Championships 2007

Yesterday I said that Stephen Maguire is

"sometimes the best thing to set foot around a snooker table and sometimes the worst thing"

Well, today he was the former. In fact he was better then that winning four frames in a row in a shut-out session this morning to claim his place in the final four. I don't think I've ever seen a better performance at a snooker table, Hamilton just never stood a chance.

Unfortunately, it's unlikely that Maguire will carry that form into the next round. And that's precisely the problem. I would never ever (ever) put money on Maguire to win anything because of his consistency issues. That's why I've decided to dub him 'The Thrill'; because his brilliance is unparalleled but it comes in short, unexpected bursts.

Hey, I was going to call him 'The Premature Thrill', but I figured that would be a bit harsh.

[BBC Sport]

Military Coup In Fiji. Netball World Rocked.

In November 2003 the hosting rights for the 2007 World Netball Championships were awarded to the Island of Fiji.

Unfortunately in December last year there was a Military Coup staged by Commander Vorege Bainamarama (which sounds way to much like Bananarama to me) and the Government was unseated.

Why this should affect the sixteen countries set to compete in the World Netball Champs in July, I have no idea, but the INFA have pulled Fiji's hosting rights. All I know is that if someone gave Banannarama a load of guns, I wouldn't want to go near them either...

The tournament will now take place in New Zealand this July.

[BBC News]
[2007 Netball World Championships]

Uber Update: Snooker World Champs 2007

We've reached the Quarter-Final stage of the  Snooker World Championship  2007 -  wha'd'ya mean you haven't been following it? Can you honestly tell me you have better things to do then watch a load of pasty dudes pacing round an oversized pool table?

Ok, ok maybe you do but no fear, your buddy Sanchez will take you through all of the matchups in the final eight.

Anthony Hamilton (Eng) v Stephen Maguire (Sco) - Maguire is sometimes the best thing to set foot around a snooker table and sometimes the worst thing, so it's always hard to predict his games. He has taken a marginal 5-3 lead (first to 13) so far and the longer he allows Hamilton to stay in touch, the harder it will be to beat him.

John Higgins (Sco) v Ronnie O'Sullivan (Eng) - Ronnie 'The Rocket' O'Sullivan is back to his incredible self again and has pretty much wiped the floor with his last two opponents, both of who only won frames when Ronnie's concentration lapsed and he made mistakes. If he can maintain concentration then no one in the entire universe can stop him from winning this tournament.

Matthew Stevens (Wal) v Shaun Murphy (Eng) - Frankly, this match is being played by two guys who got threw the first two rounds by default. If that sounds a little bit harsh, then good, it was supposed to.

Mark Selby (Eng) v Ali Carter (Eng) - Mark Selby is my new best friend after knocking out Peter Ebdon, the slowest snooker player on Earth. Well known for boring opponents to death, Ebdon was one of the reasons I didn't watch the final last year. Hopefully, he can go on to beat Carter and keep this tournament interesting. Well, in an average kind of way at-least.